Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Leave it to the federal government to come up with a way to liven up cigarette sales in America. Beginning in September 2011, the Food and Drug Administration will require cigarette manufacturers to put graphic warning labels that depict the horrors of smoking. The pictures will have to cover half a package's front and back and will feature diseased lungs,‭ ‬corpses, and a man smoking a cigarette through a tracheotomy tube.

Let's face it, cigarette packaging has become a tad too stodgy what with basic lettering, models holding cigarettes, camels, and smiling people. These new visually-stunning graphics should help spark sales and, finally, we'll have packaging worthy for other uses other than being tossed into the recycling bin.

And while the FDA's at it, why not do something about those dreadfully dull names cigarette companies slap on their products, names like Kool, Winston, Camel, Marlboro. What's that about? If you want to get sales a-popping throw in a little danger. Fill those store shelves with brands like Death Stick, Lung Destroyer, Widow Maker, Cancer Maggot, and so on. Now THAT's something worth asking for at your local grocery store, a whole lot more exciting than asking meekly for a pack of Benson & Hedges.

But why should the FDA stop there. Hell, if you're going to run the entire retail system in this country, make McDonald's put an x-ray of clogged arteries on the side of their Big Mac box; stick a coffin photo next to the mileage tag of every Smart Car waiting to be sold; affix a drawing of a retching man on Budweiser bottles; etch a broken toe graphic onto bowling balls; put baby pictures on condom packs; and, finally, place a picture of a dewy-eyed horse on every hot dog package sitting in grocery store coolers in this country.

Will sales go through the roof or what?

While many may think of this activity as nagging adults, in reality this is nothing more than plain, old-fashioned concern, the kind of concern you would have heard in your mother's voice as she would shout out at you in your youth: "Get off that fence, you're going to fall off!", "Let that dog go, he may have rabies!", "Stop playing with those matches!", and the one that always got my attention, "Quit playing with your father's loaded gun!" Our government is really an anxious mother looking out for its head-strong kids.

If this isn't a brilliant stroke of genius coming out of the Obama Administration to get the economy going, to put Americans to work, to create an unending stream of new jobs, well I don't know what else it could be.

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -
see more of him at*

Sunday, November 7, 2010


In reading local newspapers and channel surfing through TV political commentary shows it is quite apparent that the Mainstream Media has taken on the Herculean task of trying to discredit the Tea Party movement. With the results of the recent national election in hand, media pundits try to claim every Republican loss as attributable to their meddling and every Democrat win a repudiation of their beliefs. Tea Party-supported victors are seen as an anomaly.

But nowhere is this new crusade more evident than in the Mainstream Media's newly-concocted premise that the Tea Party was responsible for Republican losses in the Senate. Christine O'Donnell, Sharon Angle, and Ken Buck were all puppets of the Tea Party and all losers at the ballot box. They got theirs, so the storyline goes. Ha-ha!

Nevertheless, if one swallows the Mainstream Media's thinking, it must then follow that the Mainstream Media itself was responsible for the Democrat losses in the House. While Tea Party miscalculations might have contributed to Republican defeats, it appears that Keith Olberman's secret Democrat donations, Chris Matthew's thrill up his leg, and the open bias seen in the body language of news anchors of the Top Three television networks all worked together to defeat the Democrats pulling Nancy Pelosi's rickshaw.

But what a spectacle America was treated to in the days before November 2nd and what a comparison between these two competing titans: if the Tea Party was strident, the Mainstream Media was shrill; if the Tea Party was energized, the Mainstream Media was dour; if the Tea Party looked away from the establishment, the Mainstream Media was the establishment; if the Tea Party labored for free, the Mainstream Media feasted off campaign advertising revenue; and if the Tea Party fought for the freedom inherent in capitalism and democracy, the Mainstream Media worked to enforce the enslavement built into big government and socialism.

The Tea Party represented the spirit of independence that wrested this country from wilderness and brutality, the Mainstream Media represented the sloth and oppressiveness of the British Monarchy. Given the choice, was it really the Tea Party which lost in this election or the Mainstream Media?
by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -
see more of him at*

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


As high profile White House personalities like chief of staff Rahm Emanuel and chief economic advisor Larry Summers hog the spotlight as they leave the Obama administration at midterm, there are also lesser known, yet just as important, figures departing. They have toiled tirelessly in their positions but now merit nary a glance from the press as they exit through the wide White House doors.

For example, there is Albert Springwater, who is the president's teleprompter cleaner. "It's a very important job," he says. "Without a clean and readable screen, the President might go from talking about oil drilling to reciting the Gettysburg Address. In fact, I let one of my assistants go the other day when, because of careless wiping, the president mistook the word 'France' for 'Venezuela' and threatened to put a sea blockade on Paris."

But what really lured him away from his prestigious White House job? "There was an opening at Best Buy that I just could not ignore. Aisle after aisle of TVs waiting to be dusted off and sprayed with glass cleaner. How could I pass up an opportunity like that?"

Another soul looking wistfully at the exit sign is Billy Tribs, the youngest economic advisor in American history. His reason for leaving? "My parents are moving to New Haven and they want me to attend fifth grade there. This has been a great job but sometimes you have to follow your heart."

And his most memorable accomplishment? "My dad said don't tax the rich, but the way I saw it, this was the only way to get back at parents who won't let you stay up past nine. Payback is payback."

For Doroteo Arango, chief head of immigration in the western United States, the decision was made for him. "Many people said I was pushed out but, actually, my green card ripened and turned red. Besides my aging mother needs help keeping the drug traffickers off her lawn in Tijuana."

Bo Marker is the official White House Excuse Maker. His job is to deflect criticism from the president and his policies with witty and trenchant comebacks.

His proudest moment before he leaves in late December? "I coined the phrase, 'It's Bush's fault'. Before that, everyone was blaming poor Fannie and Freddie Mae oversight. It kept the heat off the president's spending plans."

Another accomplishment? "I co-wrote Vice President Biden's recent statement at a Minnesota fundraiser that he'd 'strangle members of the GOP who complain about the federal budget'. But I was somewhat disappointed that my observation that 'Republicans eat little children' was deleted. Oh, well, some battles aren't worth fighting."

Finally, one of the least recognized but most important luminaries heading into retirement is Arthur Tutek. His work on the Obama healthcare program may be unfathomable but it is there, somewhere in the thousands of pages of the massive bill. His work speaks of his legal roots, he is a trial attorney, and of his great concern for the downtrodden, especially the downtrodden lawyer. "My contribution to the healthcare bill was allowing more opportunities for needed litigation. For example, it's about time patients were able to sue the food staff. How many times do you hear heart-breaking stories of people not receiving their fruit cups in their dinner tray. Fruit is an essential part of our diet. We all need fruit and in depriving people of their fruit we're creating severe complications somewhere down the line."

But it doesn't end there. "I'm all for going after janitorial staffs. Who hasn't used a hospital bathroom or doctor's office where they've got inferior-quality toilet paper hanging from their rolls. We're talking about the one that's made out of recycled wax paper. Patients should have the right to expect good toilet paper, you know, that kind those bears use on TV."

Though these White House people are not as as well-known as their more televised superiors, their stories need to be told.

We hope we have gotten the word out on the important work they did.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -
see more of him at*

Thursday, September 30, 2010


Just about now you, as an American voter, are reaching critical political mass. Pummeled by incessant TV, radio, and newspaper ads, and deluged by dinnertime taped phone calls you want to kill the next person who brings up the election.

Then, again, you may have crossed over into that Zombieland of voting in which you can't seem to get enough of the heady stuff. While the former state is normal, here's how to tell if you've really had too much politics for the season and are badly in need of a vacation or at least electroshock therapy:

1) You know Sarah Palin's dog's favorite color.

2) You can recite the Hatch Act from memory.

3) You call polling companies and beg to be polled.

4) You can't wait for TV shows to end so you can start enjoying the campaign commercials.

5) You've come to believe that Rand Paul is a type of gold coin.

6) You can spell Ben Bernanke's name forward AND backwards.

7) Your shirt has color-coded campaign buttons with Republicans on the right side, Democrats on the left, and Libertarians down the middle.

8) You agree with every political view no matter who holds it yet become irritated when someone refuses to have an opinion.

9) Your Favorites menu on your computer browser is full of campaign websites.

10) You can't be reached on the Internet because your e-mail account is glutted with campaign spam.

11) You've got a space reserved in front of the early voting place so that you can get there before midnight.

12) You've got a tattoo of your favorite candidate on your shoulder and you were the tattoo artist.

13) You've painted half your car red and the other half blue.

14) You invite campaign flyer distributors into your house for coffee and cookies and to have a heart-to-heart.

15) You've removed the heads from your bobblehead collection and replaced them with leading candidates.

16) You straighten up campaign signs at intersections.

17) Your alarm clock has campaign ads to awaken you.

18) You call radio talk shows just to hear them breathe.

19) Instead of Fantasy Football, you play Fantasy Politics.

20) Your friends avoid you because all you want to talk about is the latest polling numbers.

21) When you dream, it's of filling out your ballot.

22) Your iPod is full of recorded campaign speeches.

23) You're disappointed when, after the phone rings, it's only your mother calling and not a pre-recorded message from a local candidate.

24) You burned out your TIVO recording late-night political shows.

25) Your car has so many campaign stickers on it, it makes two miles less per gallon.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -
see more of him at*

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Recently, Martin Heinrich, the man who purports to represent me and the rest of my New Mexico district in the House of Representatives, refused to debate his Republican challenger Jon Barela on KOAT-TV. In this case, Mr. Heinrich was trying to confine the debate to questions he could honestly answer, which these days seems to be limited to his name and age.

This is rather typical of New Mexico's Democrat politicians and from what I read on Liberty Maven, the Internet, and in newspapers, about what you can expect of them wherever you live in our wonderful country. While adroit at stabbing us in the back with every tax and regulation they dream up, darn if you can find them whenever you want them to explain their actions.

So if your congressional representative is like Mr. Heinrich (and he can be of either party as I see them these days), may I proffer a few questions you might ask if you suddenly run into yours in a restaurant, an elevator, or an airport candy shop:

Why did you pass Obamacare without reading it (and if you say you read it, why did House Speaker Nancy Pelosi say "it had to be passed to see what was in it")?

Why, under Obamacare, after being told Americans could keep the insurance they like, are seniors being forced to switch Medicare prescription coverage because the federal government is eliminating choices for them?

Why did you lie to us about the real cost of Obamacare which changes with every CBO report?

Why did you pass a near-trillion dollar stimulus package that, instead of being used to create jobs, has been used to prop up bloated governments across the country?

Why, before the stimulus was passed, were we promised, cross-my-heart-or-hope-to-die, that unemployment would absolutely, positively stop at eight percent?

Why have U.S. tax dollars (actually, more American debt on our children's backs) been used to rebuild Islamic mosques in foreign countries?

Why is the Justice Department being used as a political truncheon to harass and silence any state or person who disagrees with the Obama administration?

Why do you even want to consider passing job-killing cap-and-trade legislation?

And, finally, Mr. Representative-who-I-never-ever-see-in-this-state-unless-you’re-running-for-re-election, could you please explain to me how trillion dollar deficits are going to help this country?

Remember these simple queries, my friends, because running into elected officials by accident may be the only way we ever come into contact with the gods of Washington.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -
see more of him at

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


America is NOT the government, its workers, their unions, or career bureaucrats. It's the people who go to work every day to make the money that supports their families and pays the taxes that keep the government going. THAT is America.

America is NOT the politicians, their aides, or their cadre of 'experts'. It's the people who dutifully show up every election to put their two cents in at the ballot box. THAT is America.

America is NOT the laws that are passed day after day after day. It's the people who live their lives the best way they can, who don't kill, cheat, rob and who go through life cheerfully following the two words that keep this country together: honesty and fairness. THAT is America.

America is NOT the news media. It's the people who go out of their way to inform themselves on issues of the day and simply won't accept whatever is printed or televised before them. They refuse to let people they don't know make up their minds for them and more and more inconveniently question what our politicians and courts are doing to this country. THAT is America.

America is an idea, a concept, a conclusion held together by the sheer will of its people. THAT is America.

Long may her flag fly.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -
see more of him at

Sunday, July 11, 2010


The Associated Press is reporting that our Justice Department is going to be watching Arizona for any hints of racial profiling so that they can jump in with another lawsuit against the state.

Interestingly, on Election Day November 2008, the members of the New Black Panthers raised cane with voters at a polling place in Philadelphia wearing uniforms and brandishing billy clubs. The same Justice Department, after looking into the matter, dropped prosecution of the people involved, leading federal prosecutor J. Christian Adams to resign from the Justice Department in protest.

If it had been white supremacists intimidating voters by waving Bibles in the air they would have prosecuted them; if it had been Ku Klux Klan Grand Dragons (the late Robert Byrd excluded) intimidating voters with burning crosses they would have prosecuted them; if it had been Aryan Nation members toting guns they would have prosecuted them. But it wasn't, it was an angry horde of black supremacists intimidating voters and trying to distract poll workers so that A.C.O.R.N. members could vote illegally, and that was okay.

By practicing federal intimidation of states, our Justice Department, led by Eric Holder, is using its own form of racial profiling - or should I say racist profiling - to decide who and who not to prosecute.

Welcome to Obama's America 2010.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -
see more of him at

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


The Arizona immigration situation reminds me so much of when the Minutemen group came to our borders a few years back and shamed the federal government to start doing something about our borders. This, to me, is a continuation of this same shaming of our government to fulfill its responsibilities.

I guess it will take our states creating their own armies to stand up to Islamic extremism just to recognize that problem, too.

Our federal government is excellent at taking our money but darn lousy at doing any meaningful work to deserve it.
by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Mr. Blame-It-On-Somebody-Else

The Official Barack Obama Blame List:

George W.‭ ‬Bush,‭ ‬tea parties,‭ ‬talk radio,‭ ‬right wing extremists,‭ ‬Republicans,‭ ‬religious right,‭ ‬NRA,‭ ‬banks,‭ ‬corporations,‭ ‬George W.‭ ‬Bush,‭ ‬Wall Street,‭ ‬insurance companies,‭ ‬Congress,‭ ‬al-Qaeda,‭ ‬private practice doctors,‭ ‬CEOs,‭ ‬big oil,‭ ‬Israel,‭ ‬pollsters,‭ ‬Fox News,‭ ‬the American people,‭ ‬and George W.‭ ‬Bush...

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

and see the shirts:* and*
and bumper stickers:*  and*
all at*

Saturday, June 26, 2010


A Liberal, while at a pro-illegal alien rally in Arizona, gets hit over the head by a protest sign and dies. Seconds later he appears before Saint Peter. The Liberal is kind of scared standing there before God's gatekeeper as he hasn't really lived a particularly exemplary life. He tries to smile.

"Nationality?" asks St. Peter.

"American," says the Liberal.

"Great," says Saint Peter. "We're having a special this week: all Americans go straight to Heaven."

"Wonderful," says the Liberal, who's ecstatic over his sudden good fortune.

"Okay, now if I can just see your citizenship papers," says Saint Peter.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Poor General Stanley McChrystal. He's finding out that a Rolling Stone article gathers nothing but mud.

Making unflattering comments on President Obama, Vice President Biden, and others in the Administration from Hell, McChrystal picked the wrong president to criticize. If only he'd mocked George W. Bush, he would have been fine. In fact, our leftist media would have made him a hero, nay, they would have petitioned the Vatican to have him beatified. They would have begged for even more interviews and haled him as a courageous, independent, and fearless military leader who stood by his principles. They would have followed him around like a Hollywood celebrity. Anyone remember Cindy Sheehan?

Instead, as he has chosen the socialist media darling of a president to speak his mind on, he's nothing more than a drunken, loud-mouthed schmuck. A typical baby-killing brute. He should get what he has coming.

Neverthless, what General McChrystal said is all too true. Obama is inept, incompetent, and frankly, doesn't give a damn about America.

However, he looks great on the golf course.

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I nearly drowned in all the B.S. gushing out of President Obama's anti-British Petroleum speech on June 15. It was cliches followed by fawning political platitudes followed by more cliches. If anything, someone should have capped this speech.

But mostly it was a compilation speech, things we've already heard over the past couple of months since the Gulf oil well exploded. It was "The Best of Barack Obama Trying to Act Presidential". Only I didn't have to send $9.95 plus shipping and handling to some company in California for it. It intruded on a perfectly fine television evening.

One thing I'm getting tired though, in Barack's speeches, is his juvenile "they're going to pay for this" stuff. Accidents happen, look at our last presidential election. Accidents are accidents whether you like it or not and making fate and random bad luck a criminal offense is hardly going to solve anything.

Anyway, the whole speech ended with a predictable call for more government action, in which we, the American people, pay for this mess with cap-and-trade legislation and a nice fat carbon tax.

As I finished watched his speech I felt a strange sensation on my butt. As though someone was drilling into my wallet.

Musta been my imagination.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Thursday, May 20, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

I think that Arizona, in the interest of interstate cooperation, should take the high road in this immigration controversy by offering to ship any illegal aliens they arrest to California, Santa Fe, the White House, Massachusetts, and any town or city in America that has shown a willingness to set aside the immigration laws for their crusade for human rights. Stimulus money could be used and this could become a boon to the transportation industry. Our airlines, railroads, and buses, currently begging for customers, will busily ply our national byways with new fares.

I'm sure concerned Progressives everywhere would be willing to take in a family or individual and house and feed them for a few years as Progressives are quite the humanitarians. Perhaps they could even have a little contest to create a Sanctuary Home logo that would not only show who was in it but how worried the owners of that abode are over these people.

It seems unfair that Arizona alone should keep all these illegal immigrants to themselves so I know that unselfish Progressives, Democrats, Liberals, and Socialists everywhere will soon be stepping forward to ask for their fair share of these people. In fact, I'm sure the demand will become so great we will have to ration them, perhaps holding drawings to see who gets them. Riots might even break out at dispersion centers and it's quite possible that the call for warm bodies could become so large we may even demand that Mexico and other countries step up the pace in sending us more.

It's possible that Arizona might be able to turn a few bucks in this arena. Illegal alien tourism could become the next rage what with tour groups coming in to see illegal crossing points, actual arrests, and ICE holding areas. And tourists just love to buy overpriced trinkets.

But in looking at all the pluses involved in exporting illegal aliens all over the country, the one that stands out the most has to do with all those empty guest rooms, attics, cellars, and garages we have at our disposal. With illegals in the house no more will the deafening sound of silence pervade our semi-vacant homes. The never-ending patter of feet will lull us to sleep at night and awaken us in the morning.

As we are now well into redistributing wealth, so should we be redistributing people.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

In the past year or so the Republican Party has acquired the sobriquet of the 'the party of no' for standing up to the socialist lunacy Mr. Obama and members of his party want visited upon this nation. However, if you look at the record, it's really the Democrat Party that should be given that title. Look at their list of NOs:

NO you can't have your taxes cut, NO you can't have smaller government, NO you can't have a balanced budget, NO you can't have less government intrusion into your life, NO you can't expect to hear God mentioned in the public schools, NO you can't have an end to abortions you're forced to pay for with your tax money, NO you can't have an enforced immigration policy, NO you can't define marriage as between a man and a woman, NO you can't have a reasonable foreign policy, NO you can't expect the Constitution to be followed to the letter, NO you can't demand that we stop apologizing to other countries, NO you can't have personal responsibility, NO you can't have less government regulations, NO you can't cut welfare payments especially to those here illegally, NO you can't have secure borders, NO you can't have a common language, NO you can't have a military focused on victory, NO you can't have a free enterprise system that's free, NO you can't have a gun, No you can't make us stop hassling Arizona, NO you can't expect us to do what you want us to do even though you tell us what to do, NO you can't know what's in legislation until it's passed and can't be repealed or changed, NO you can't have strong support for Israel, No you can't call terrorist terrorists, NO you can't ask that when people buy a home they have the financial wherewithal to afford it, NO you can't have government accountability, NO you can't see your own doctor, NO you can't have an end to blackmail-for-bailouts, No you can't have anything less than European-style Socialism, and NO you can't have all the liberty you think you need.

Everything else, I believe, falls into the 'maybe' class...

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Thursday, April 22, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

I've heard Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck, among others use the term 'regime' when speaking of the Obama Administration. Whether they are using it facetiously or not, they are incorrect in this term.

We are in the Americas and since the Democrat leadership is trying to turn America into some form of Banana Republic, they really should be called the Obama Junta. It is headed by Generalisimo Barack Obama, Colonels Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, and Sub-sub Commandante Joe Biden. However, in a nod to gentility, they do not carry sidearms.

We should recognize our New World roots and call our form of dictatorship by its true name.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Thursday, April 15, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

Like many free Americans who want to stay that way, I was at a Tea Party rally on April 15th. I’m not a card-carrying member of that group but I agree with them wholeheartedly on the bad direction this country is taking under the Obama regime. So I picked a spot on the sidewalk on Menaul Boulevard at 4 in the afternoon, brandished my sign, yelled a bit, waved a bit, and said what had to be said. For the most part, the event was very, very peaceful except for a young lady who stopped at the light and tried to share the water she had with her in her environmentally-friendly and recyclable water bottle. I was deeply dismayed for it appeared she was far more in need of a shower than any of us.

But it is the difference between conservatives and those on the Left that we tend not to make horse’s rear ends of ourselves at rallies and protests. I don’t think I’ve ever read of a single conservative riot, no angry mobs of grown-ups running down the street overturning cars, setting fire to buildings, breaking windows, pillaging, and looting. But every time I see rallies on the Left, there they are obstructing traffic, breaking things, making their presence known through obscene gestures and foul language. None of that was in evidence at this day’s Tea Party protest.

We voiced our opinions on Mr. Obama, federal spending, politicians who won’t listen to us, liberty, freedom, the Constitution, you name it, we wrote it on our signs and discussed it with one another as the time passed. A finer group of people I could never find myself around. Thoughtful, opinionated, and, most importantly, intelligent.

We came, we made our point, and if the powers that be still won’t take notice of what we have to say, they’ll hear from us again this November.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

In September 1, 1939, Adolph Hitler sent actual tanks rolling into Poland to take it over. It was messy, involved the help of the Russians, and many Poles died in the fighting.

Now, here in America, we're seeing the same thing, the capitulation of an entire country under attack by a dictatorial force in Barack Obama and his communist party. But instead of the gunpowder and lead that would have been used if the Democrat Party really was serious about getting things done, they're using a much more civilized item: human emotion and, in this case, the most basest of all emotions, envy and jealousy to achieve their goals.

The Chosen One is justifying the take over of a sixth of the U.S. economy via Obamacare by calling the entire health care issue a quest for human rights and everyone in the way of stopping Obamacare a worthless, greedy bastard. And, man, has it worked so far!

Because once you reduce everything to a quest for human rights, anyone standing in the way of goods and services has just got to be plain avaricious. Not to mention heartless, cold, and cruel.

Thus has Mr. Obama and his buddies mounted a quite effective war against Capitalism by turning business into the devil incarnate. And the whiny goat people who currently graze upon the face of America have whole-heartedly swallowed everything they hear issuing through Obama's non-moving purple lips.

Banks, insurance companies, real estate businesses and car companies have been vilified for their flagrant greed. Many are now under the protective and watchful eye of the government. They're setting prices, rates, and we now even have a pay czar to make sure no one is paid too much by government sensibilities.
This same envy can be used to take over virtually every other industry in America:

The Clothing Industry - why do I have to $40 for a pair of jeans. Clothing is an essential human right and the greedy retailer and manufacturer (who by the way is exploiting the people overseas who work in jeans sweat shops for pennies a day) are standing between us and total nakedness. The government should make sure I have soft cotton on my tush.

The Tent Industry - damn it, housing is a basic human right. Because greedy tent manufacturers are making unconscionable profits, some people even have to -gasp!- sleep in the back of their truck camper! The government should guarantee I have a roof over my head when I'm in the forest. I'm not an animal, after all.
The Paint Industry - warm colors and freshly-painted walls are a basic human right that keeps us well and happy. The government should make sure I have paint, brushes, masking tape, rollers, and plastic tarps to make my house a fit place to live.

The Computer Industry - the Internet, software, printers, modems, scanners, and all peripherals are a basic human right that keeps us abreast of technology and day-to-day communications. The government should provide us all with a laptop of our choice and a decent backpack to carry it around with.

The list goes one and on. Let's see, what else do I need that I don't want to pay for? Well, it's a basic human right to have decent canvas footwear, UV-blocking sunglasses, pedal steel guitars, spiral-cut hams, bottled water, staplers, cherry sodas, roller skates, binoculars, plasma TVs, airline tickets, three-piece tailored suits, and mountain bikes.

In fact, everything in life should be given to me free of charge because it's my basic human right. And all those greedy companies with their unconscionable gouging profits should be forced to provide me and everyone reading this article with everything we want at a loss. And if they don’t want to, then the government should take those companies over and run them the way our Founding Fathers would have wanted them run.

It's the new American way.

Right? Right!

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

Now that the regular basketball season has come to an end, you see the happy faces of players and coaches going to the NCAA tournament. Their effort has paid off and on they go to the Big Dance, the Sweet Sixteen, the Final Four, the…you get the picture.

You also hear the moaning and groaning of fans whose favorite team didn't make it to the tournament. There are angry, recriminating accusations against coaches, players, athletic directors, school docents, ball boys, cheerleaders, and college presidents. The endless stream of tearful invective fills sports pages, TV programs, and radio call-in shows. The fan takes it personally. It is not that the team lost, but that the fan, himself, lost.

What we need to stop this yearly moping ritual is a tournament for the losers in basketball, a play-off system which recognizes, even glorifies, the hopelessness of the last-place finish.

This new sports concept would be called the Lasties Tournament, an event the cellar dweller would be proud to compete in, designed, especially, to get embattled coaches off the hot seat and into the Victory Circle. Best of all, you would have to lose the tournament to be the winner.

In other words, the Lasties Tournament will be an enthusiastic, orgiastic celebration of mediocrity for, let's face it, few of us will ever date the homecoming queen, pick up an Oscar, or be the company president. And for those who adore conclusions, we'll be able, once and for all, (until next year, of course) to determine which team has the poorest shooting, the most pathetic rebounding, the softest offense, and the worst defense. The sour crème de la sour crème. The qualities the average man wants to know.

You're probably thinking, why wouldn't a team just miss shots, turn over the ball, and go to sleep under the net? In other words, throw the tournament. Easy. Electric shock collars. All players would receive a good-sized shock everytime someone on their team flubbed a lay-up, missed a rebound, or didn't get the ball off in time. It would be hustle enforced by electricity --- neat, effective, and, if backed by carbon credits, green.

Even the coaching staff would be in on this treatment. They would be given a shock each time they ordered a player to foul an opposing player in the final two minutes of a game. We shouldn't be forced to watch a deliberately slowed game. We want our loser and we want him now.

So given these simple suggestions on the creation of a Lasties Tournament, a fine and interesting time awaits the public.

Let the NCAA have their March Madness. We'll have our April Anemia.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


If the 60's rock band from England had been in their prime today, they might have written and played a song like this:

Prius Kept A-Rollin’

(original lyyrics by T. Bradshaw / L. Mann / H. Kay)

I bought a Prius, I bought a car,
It was a hipster, well and a real cool car,
(It was handsome,)
It was pretty, I bought it in New York City,
Well and I trucked on down in that old Toyota,
(Goin' on,)

With a heave, and a ho,
Well, I just couldn't stop that car.
(No I couldn't,)
Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,
Everybody get outta my way,
Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,
Everybody get outta my way,
With a heave, and a ho,
(No matter how I pumped the brakes,)
I just couldn't stop that car
(No I couldn't)

Well, the Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
(Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,)
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
([We're doin' eighty!])
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
(Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,)
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
([Now we're doin' ninety!])
With a heave, and a ho,
Everybody get outta my way,
Well I just couldn't stop that car,
(No, I couldn't.)

I couldn't stop at Albuquerque,
Everybody must have thought I was a real gone jerk,
I passed a train in El Paso,
Lookin' so good, Jack, but I couldn't stop that car.
(Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,)
(Oh, right, no, go left,)
Well, the Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
With a heave, and a ho,
Well I just couldn't stop that car.

Friday, February 26, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

Whether you call it ObamaCare, PelosiCare, ReidCare, DemocratCare, or just plain stupid, Socialized Medicine is the Holy Grail to the president and his Democrat Party. They just can't stop talking about it and are as fixated with it as a puppy with its own tail.

But the more Mr. Obama talks about his plans, the worse it gets for him. The problem is that he hasn't presented it properly. As an aid to Democrats everywhere, these are the positions they should be pushing to make this dream reality:

1) Socialized Medicine is free. I don't know how they do it, but, by golly, nobody has to pay for it. Now if they could do something about the rising cost of cigarettes, gas, sodas, and my tanning bed treatments...

2) Socialized Medicine protects medical professionals and hospitals from extraordinary lawsuits. Right now Republicans and many physicians are pointing out that to control medical costs, tort reform needs to be initiated to rein in the runaway costs of medical malpractice lawsuits. With Socialized Medicine there would be no need for this legislation. As the government would run the health care system how would anyone be able to sue Uncle Sam? Especially if he wasn't in the mood to be sued. Socialized Medicine means never having to say "Oops!".

3) Socialized Medicine covers all diseases. Time and again we see insurance companies denying care for unusual diseases or treatments. Now everything will be covered up to and including euphoria, apoplexy, and miner's squint. And you won't have to pay for those pills and medical devices you saw advertised on late-night TV.

4) Socialized Medicine means you will be able visiting many foreign countries. Recently Danny Williams, the Newfoundland/Labrador Premier, came to the United States to get immediate treatment for a heart condition rather than wait for treatment in Canada. As we will not be allowed to visit the United States many of us may sample the medical care in India, Mexico, Argentina, and Mongolia for quick treatment of deteriorating ailments. As many of you may say, ole!

5) Socialized Medicine will give you time to think it over. Haven't you ever done things on the spur of the moment which you ended up regretting when you sobered up? Things like getting a tattoo, buying a Hummer, or signing up for a lifetime subscription to "Boys' Life". Since it will take months, perhaps years, to see a doctor or schedule a treatment, you will have plenty of time to ponder whether you really want that gallbladder surgery, that liver transplant, that hernia operation, or that brain tumor removed. No longer will we see people who rued the day they had their gallstones taken out.

6) Socialized Medicine means more jobs for the unemployed. While real doctors may become disillusioned and leave the medical profession, this only opens the door for medical school dropouts, incompetent phlebotomists, clumsy surgeons, mediocre radiologists, unskilled nurses, alcoholic anesthesiologists, and backyard mechanics to fulfill their dream of a career in medicine. No medical degree, no problem!

7) Socialized Medicine offers incentives to stay healthy. Since the average patient may be called upon to visit a doctor as described in Reason No. 6, there will be a good reason to pay attention to one's shape. I'd start jogging right now if I were you.

8) Socialized Medicine will improve the gene pool. Death panels, natural selection, bad luck, call it what you will but the waits and overall incompetence associated with Socialized Medicine will mean you will die sooner, rather than later, of your genetic ailment, thus the better off mankind will be if you don't get a chance to procreate. Future Americans will never again see people afflicted with prickly heat, vertigo, or political idiocy.

9) Socialized Medicine will give the government something to do. Rather than raise hell with the public through IRS audits, unending bureaucratic regulation, or random airport strip searches, the government will find its hands full, day and night, creating paperwork, scheduling payments, and coming up with excuses for why no one answers the medical clinic phone at 2:00 in the afternoon.

10) Socialized Medicine will come in color or black and white. No. just yanking your Obama nose ring. Actually, it won't but I couldn't come up with any other reason you would want Socialized Medicine.

So to Mr. Obama and the Democrat Party, instead of using the nuclear option of reconciliation or writing up an executive order, the best way to get Americans to go along with Socialized Medicine is to tell them why they need it.

And you could also tell them it's available, for a limited time, in tan.
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

In Barack Obama's latest health care plan is a proposal to give the Health and Human Services secretary the power to block price increases in premiums by health insurers. That power, on its face, would be subjective and political. However, it would complete the take-over of American companies by this increasingly relentless socialist administration.

Look at the facts, these days government dictates how to make a product, the government dictates what to put in a product, the government dictates shipping methodology if the U.S. Postal Service is used, the government dictates working conditions with OSHA, the government dictates minimum pay for employees and who to hire with EEOC laws, the government dictates salaries and bonuses for management in some industries, and, at the end of the day, for its efforts, the government will be on hand to collect its fair share of the company's profit through taxation if a company is fortunate enough to make a profit on its transactions.

Now the government wants to dictate to companies what they will charge for their products.

What decision making is left for a company under this administration? Helping pick the color of tablecloths in the company mess hall?

This proposal will be the final nail in the de facto take-over of American business. And it neatly avoids the messiness and expense of actually having to buy or run companies ala General Motors or AIG. Free companies! What socialist politician wouldn't be giddy with excitement over the prospect?

You just gotta admire that crazy Capitalist Socialism.
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Sunday, February 21, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Barack Obama who got elected President of the United States. He enjoyed the job and loved playing in the Oval Office and giving speeches to whoever would come by. One day he decided to go down to Congress and meet them all.

And all the people in Congress were so happy to see him.

"Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" they asked, for they so wanted to please him.

He pointed to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and said, "More."

So the Congress immediately passed an $787 billion stimulus package and the little boy's stomach grew larger and off he went. But before long the little boy came back to Congress.

"Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" they asked, for they so wanted to please him.

Again, the little boy pointed to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and said, "More."

So the Congress immediately bought General Motors, Chrysler, AIG, and bunches and bunches of banks.

Again the little boy's stomach grew larger and off he went. But before long the little boy came back again to Congress.

"Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" they asked, for they so wanted to please him.

And again, the little boy pointed to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and said, "More."

So the Congress immediately started working on a $3.8 trillion budget plan.

Again the little boy's stomach grew larger and off he went.

Well, every chance he got, little Barack Obama would go down to Congress. And every single time he would go down, the people in Congress would stand right next to him and they would say, "Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" for they so wanted to please him. And every time that happened, little Barack Obama would point to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and say, "More." And every time he would do that, the people in Congress would pass another spending bill until one day you could see, even from faraway, that Barack Obama's stomach was as big as a house.

And then you know what happened?

Why, he went back down to Congress. And all the people in Congress stood next to him and they all said in chorus, "Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" for they so wanted to please him. And again, little Barack Obama pointed to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and said, "More." So the Congress immediately passed a bill authorizing the U.S. Treasury to borrow an additional $1.9 trillion.

But this time, before little Barack Obama could leave, his tummy started making a rumbling sound and that rumbling sound grew louder and louder and LOUDER! Until, until, until he exploded!

BOOM and there was government all over the place: on the walls of Congress, on the ceilings of Congress, on the desks of Congress, on the fine statues of Congress. Everywhere, as far as the eye could see was government, government, government.

And you know what little Barack Obama did?

He blamed the whole mess on his playschool rival George W. Bush and then off he went to play.

Moral: Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Thursday, February 18, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

With implications for the entire country, in the state of New Mexico, our 2010 legislature is coming to an end and once again we are being called upon to bare our necks and feed the Vampire Hog of Government. And in the action-speaks-louder-than-words category, the Democrat Party, which has run this state for the past 70 years, has managed, in spite of a half billion dollar deficit, not to close unneeded departments, stop unnecessary spending, derail our money-sucking Rail Runner choo-choo, or even remove anyone from our bloated state payroll not even, as a local TV news investigator discovered, employees running non-existent museums or just showing up to pick up nice fat government checks.

For you see, rather than cutting spending, our legislature is going to increase taxes. One of the proposed taxes that was within inches of becoming law here in hispanic New Mexico, was a tax on hispanic foods like white flour tortillas, hard taco shells, salsa, and red chili pods. This would have been like putting a snow tax on Eskimos or a hurricane tax on Floridians. Of course if they'd held their ground they would have gotten away with it because they know that all we ever do in New Mexico is grumble for a couple of weeks and then return to our brainless, happy-go-lucky selves.

But if Barack Obama is as smart as everyone claims he is, he will sit up and pay attention to what our politicians almost did here which he can use to solve his own trillion dollar deficits. If Democrats could try to tax ethnic food in New Mexico, imagine what they could do nationwide. Plus, if successful, the dietary dragon lady Michelle Obama would no longer be able to castigate us over our heft.

But where would he start taxing? Well, why not with the President's own racial group - blacks. And for this, we can thank Questlove, Jimmy Fallon's 'Late Night' show bandleader, who posted a picture on Twitter of the NBC Universal commissary menu which was created in honor of Black History Month: fried chicken, collard greens, black-eyed peas, and cornbread. A six percent surtax right off the plate.

Who's next? Wow, America has a diverse population and the ethnic buffet is mouth-watering to a Democrat politician in need of spending money. Those of Germanic background would have their sauerkraut and bratwurst taxed. Louisiana Cajuns would see the cost of blackened catfish and gumbo rising, and the Irish might notice a mild price increase on green beer and corned beef-and-cabbage though the latter would be reduced slightly to take into account electric wind generation. (Oh, and a new St. Patrick's motto: Tax me, I'm Irish!)

Greeks would be expected to plunk down more for gyros and souvlaki, Native Americans on frybread and mutton stew, and French-Americans would pay more for, uh, whatever it is they eat. And I don't think there's a Swedish-American amongst us who wouldn't cringe at forking over more hard-earned dollars for gravlax.

The Jewish people in America have long supported the Democrat Party and surely wouldn't complain when their gefilte fish and matzo balls come with an extra charge. The same for Latinos where you wouldn't hear a peep out of them over costlier tamales, chimichangas, and refried beans.

Italians also would be asked to participate in national budget balancing with revenue enhancements on pizza and linguine. (As the late Chico Marx might have said, "Thatsa spicy tax!"). The Poles living in Chicago could feel a dollar or two pinch on their kielbasa at football games and while this might rob them of their appetites, their attention would soon wander off to the on-field exploits of Da Bears. The Japanese would see their cash swimming away on higher priced sushi, Indians would look wistfully at Tandoori priced just out of their wallet's reach, and will we ever see a Chinese fortune cookie on our plate again?

Nevertheless, tough times call for tough action and if we follow the progressive thinking of the New Mexico state legislature and their delicious food tax, our country stands a good chance at economic recovery.
So Mr. Obama, dust off that deli counter cash register. Maybe, just maybe, we Americans will be able to eat our way back to prosperity.
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Thursday, February 11, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

Sometimes I wonder why Barack Obama is marching the United States down the path of destruction with his trillion dollar budgets and insane laws like cap-and-trade that would rob us of our money and our freedom.
As we go deeper and deeper into a financial hole that will take generations to get out of, you've got be asking yourself Why? What is the reasoning behind profligate spending and laws so obviously bad even a blind man could see their end results.

What is the endgame of this governmental madness we find ourselves in? What is Obama trying to do? Who's on the other end of his Blackberry and what are they telling him? Are the controlling powers that be trying to remake America into some kind of socialist paradise? Or are they trying to make sure America is never again a threat to the world as they want to see it?

There may be a theological explanation to what's happening. Perhaps God is fed up with the repudiation of His existence and authority by the Democrat Party most noticeably in their use of the phony "separation of church and state" concept (as though one could shut off his morality the minute he stepped through the front door of the Capitol building). Maybe He has had enough of the Democrat glorification of abortion, the acceptance of using baby bodies for stem cell experiments, the pushing of gay marriage at every turn, and their using Welfare to sap the industry and will of people who should be looking after themselves and their families without government handouts and has hit upon a quiet plan to rid us of this cancerous political party which appears to have been co-opted by Communists, Socialists, and every nut case on earth who envies and despises our freedom.

You might think, in observing his actions, that Barack Obama is at his core a very bad man. But it could be that he is merely an instrument, a divine device, a useful idiot for our Lord who is showing us Representatives and Senators who won't listen to their constituents even at Town Hall meetings they've called themselves, who conduct business behind closed doors and late Saturday nights when they hope no one is paying attention, and who lather themselves in political hubris by taking an I-know-better-than-you attitude on national legislation and spending.

Yet you've got to wonder how a virtually unknown man with no experience in business or government, shows up in Congress for a few months, topples a bevy of Democrat heavyweights in primary after primary, and is elected President of the United States. Rather than curse or bemoan his actions, maybe he's been sent from on high to open the eyes of the American people to the evil that is the current Democrat Party.

Maybe God's a Republican after all.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

Interesting that our news media reporters, years after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, are still bringing up then-President George W. Bush and how he supposedly didn't help the people there. After all, he didn't go down and personally warn them of a coming hurricane or, once the rains began to fall, pick up their belongings and cart them off to safety. I don't know what Mr. Bush was supposed to have done, I guess helicopter down, raise his arms, and stop the winds.

Now SnowTrina is walloping Washington, D.C. and the east coast and the same news media is covering the event as if we have no president at all. No finger pointing at Barack Hussein Obama at all as the snow brings the government to a standstill. No angry wagging fingers by TV talking heads complaining that Mr. Obama has no heart, no concern for the welfare of the people. Why, now the people in the media are acting as though this might be an act of nature. Now that a leftist administration is in power, the media is thoroughly mystified at what home owners are complaining about as they shovel the snow from their own drive-ways without government help.

Imagine that, weather might well be above man, politics, and the media.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

New Mexico, like most states run by Democrats these days, is greedy, corrupt, and broke.

Our legislature meets yearly in January and, seeking to allay a current state budget deficit of over a half billion dollars in one of the poorer states of the union, rather than cut back spending to a useful degree or trim workers from our bloated government. Taxes, taxes, taxes are the only words of the day in Santa Fe.

One idea from a local politician is, of course, the old standby of raising cigarette taxes, and in this case, a dollar a pack. Picking the pocket of the one group that's pariah and friendless is the usual move when governmental money problems come along as is the motive, in this case, the faux concern for smokers' well-being to justify this money grab.

There's something about our politicians constantly bringing up 'sin' taxes to pay for their idea of government that just has to stick in your craw. They seem to know so much about our sins yet they blindly ignore their own.

For instance:

*** The sin of overspending - like a spoiled child in a candy store, our representatives in Washington want everything they see and, thus, have spent us into a 12 trillion dollar national debt. Plus, Mr. Obama has come out with a 2010 budget which features a $1.56 trillion dollar deficit. I'd like to spend at this rate but if I did, the guy from the big screen TV store would come down and break my legs.

*** The sin of junketeering - Nancy Pelosi has spent over a million dollars a year the past two years forcing our Air Force to fly her entourage all over the planet. We taxpayers are also picking up her hundred thousand dollar bar tab as she flies the friendly skies.

*** The sin of not looking after the store - while our Congress deliberated for over a year on a socialized medical plan, the Russians recently announced they now have a stealth jet of their own. In this, you're looking at a coming problem for the very security of our country. Maybe these jets can be shot down with insurance forms.

*** The sin of political scandals - In August 2005 the FBI seized $90,000 in cash from the home freezer of William J. Jefferson (D-LA) for which he was convicted of 11 counts of bribery and sentenced to 13 years in prison. Back in 1974, Rep. Wilbur Mills (D-ARK), the chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee, was forced to resign after his carousing with swimming stripper Fanne Foxe got out of hand and into the press. On November 28, 2005, Duke Cunningham (R-CA) pleaded guilty to accepting at least 2.4 million dollars in bribes and fudging on his income taxes. You'd think all these grown-ups we send to Washington could keep their noses clean. You'd think.

*** The sin of throwing away taxpayer money on boondoggles - we're spending billions of dollars on light rail systems across the country which, after being built, continue to lose billions of dollars a year in running them. Look at my home state of New Mexico where our legislature is struggling with a half billion dollar deficit, virtually the entire amount that's been spent building and subsidizing our Rail Runner system to date, plus we're also building a spaceport. The only thing our New Mexico government hasn't got around to building is a time machine transit system. (Oh, God, why did I open my big mouth!)

*** The sin of running for one office while still in another - Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Bill Richardson, Dennis Kucinich, Evan Bayh, Christopher Dodd, Joe Biden all kept their day jobs while moonlighting as presidential candidates. Obama and Biden eventually did have to resign after being elected to the presidency but, look, if you don't like your current job and want a new one, do the honorable thing: quit and get out of our pocket. The only politician I can remember who ever resigned from his job to run for president was Bob Dole, a man you've got to respect just for that.

*** The sin of elitism - knowing what's best for us in the face of massive opposition such as our Democrat-majority congress trying to shove a socialized medical system down our throat that we plain don't want. Or forcing environmental rules on us to the point we can't drill for oil and gas, mine for useful metals, cut trees down for lumber or heating, drive our cars without air bags full of environmental guilt, or heat our homes with anything less than a bank of candles.

And finally, to the list, the most egregious political sin of all:

*** The sin of calling things a sin. How can politicians who demand separation of church and state turn around and use a religious concept such as 'sin' to justify their tax plans? I suppose once you learn to swim in the cesspool of hypocrisy that's modern Washington, D.C. your moral conscience never bothers you again.
It's high time we the people take our duties as citizens more seriously and start examining the 'sins' of our politicians. And the best tax we can place on them is a good boot out the door.
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Monday, February 8, 2010


While reading a telepromptered speech at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, D.C. on Thursday, February 5, 2010, President Obama twice pronounced the word 'Corpsman' as 'Corpse-man'. This set off a minor brouhaha amongst bloggers and radio talk show hosts.

Now, while many people may snicker and say he mispronounced the word, ala former President George W. Bush, I believe he said the word the way he intended. If you're in the military, you really are a walking corpse under this Commander-in-Chief. With Barack Obama around, being in the Armed Forces can be a one-way ticket to the cemetery and the term 'soldier' should be replaced with the word 'target'.

For example, the Associated Press reports military deaths in Afghanistan doubled from 151 in 2008 to 304 in 2009, the first year of Obama's presidency. Last summer, General Stanley McChrystal asked for an increase in troops there. While our men and women were fighting and dying in Afghanistan, Obama golfed, gave speeches, preened before the TV cameras, and horsed around for over three months before deciding to add troops, not as many as the general asked for but at least an increase.

And now to make matters worse, the Pentagon is more occupied with putting gay soldiers on the marching field and reading Miranda rights to fighters bristling with explosives in their underpants than fighting the enemies of our country. Even in trying to accommodate modern political correctness 13 people were killed and 30 wounded last year in Texas at Fort Hood by a muslim U.S. Army major who was openly exhibiting strange behavior as he followed his radical Islamic beliefs. In all this, Obama can hardly bring himself to say the word 'terrorist' and has meekly called upon our civilian justice system to handle our Guantanamo Bay detainees. So much for having a military feared across the planet.

The ultimate irony is that Mr. Obama was speaking at a prayer breakfast when he mispoke. Unfortunately, our soldiers don't have a prayer of a chance under his schizophrenic and incompetent leadership.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Thursday, January 28, 2010


His Teleprompter is plugged in.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Barack Hussein Obama is proposing to reduce national spending by $25 billion in his trillion dollar annual budget. That’s like setting aside one potato chip as you devour a family-sized bag and expecting to lose weight.

Monday, January 25, 2010


The Great Depression had a name - The Great Depression! I think our current economic situation also should have a name. Therefore, I dub what's happening these days: The Hopey-Changey Recession. We voted for it and, doggone it, we ought to get something for our money.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Lately I have seen a most worrisome trend going on. And, no, I don't mean things like the belligerence being displayed by China, Iran, North Korea, or Venezuela.

I mean, this push to curb obesity in this country. Every time you pick up the paper or turn on the TV, there's somebody chiding you that we're too fat. That we're eating too much. That we're not getting enough exercise. That food's got too much fat. That we're guzzling too many empty calories from soft drinks. On and on and on.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I've come to believe that obesity is a positive thing.
After all, how many wars have been started and fought by fat people? How many robberies and assaults are perpetrated by the hefty class? Who's ever seen fat people running away from the scene of a crime?

And not only Americans, I think people worldwide should be encouraged to pack on the pounds. Who's going to fight who if they're too busy grazing on Big Macs and French fries? If more people got fat, there'd be damned little time to think about nuclear aggression and armed conflict.

Anyway, it seems to me that heart disease and high blood pressure are a small price to pay for world peace. I think we ought to be promoting weight gain.

If you agree, wave a French fry in my favor.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


In trying to enjoy a sporting event broadcast on radio, could we for once NOT have to listen to public service announcements about alcoholic mothers, drug addict children, starving children, drop-outs, abusive spouses, gambling addictions, skin diseases, cholesterol worries, heart ailments, diabetes, erectile dysfunction, government announcements crying about people wasting water, and full-fledged lectures exhorting us to exercise more, drink less soft drinks, and eat fewer hamburgers. Couldn't we just enjoy the festive nature of sports and not the depressive nature of reality?

Call me old-fashioned but I long for the days when all that filled the airwaves between time-outs was beer commercials and car ads.


In watching Barack Hussein Obama, the Communist nut case who currently occupies our White House, rail to the point of apoplexy aganst the insurance and banking industries, I have a suggestion that should solve his beef with them.

Mr. Obama, if you have an insurance policy, cancel it; and you should rush right down to your bank this very instant and take everything you have out of there, put all your millions into a large bag, take it back home, and hide it under the mattress.

The rest of us can continue to take our chances with insurance and banks and you, Mr. Obama, can once again sleep peacefully, content in the knowledge that you've gotten back at the filthy rotten greedy scoundrels who run these institutions.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


a cartoon dedicated to the memory of freedom...© Clyde James Aragon & licensors. All rights reserved

Friday, January 8, 2010


by © Clyde James Aragon

After reading in my local paper yet another glowing article about the 'Progressive' Movement, I have to ask, what's so progressive about it? What do they even stand for?

Freedom? Turning our medical system over to government bureaucracies will lead to more freedom? Letting the EPA control CO2 will lead to more freedom? Our Obama nose rings should come with perfume sprayers so we aren’t overwhelmed by the stench of tyranny.

Lower Taxation? In order to pay for socialized DemocratCare, we're going to see tax increases for four years before we see any benefits, meanwhile our Congress can pretend to balance the budget with this money and allow themselves some more middle-of-the-night spending sprees. The coming cap-and-trade legislation will be another tax increase on rich and poor disguised as an environmental palliative. And printing money to pay for trillion dollar deficit spending only devalues the money, robbing all of us, and thus acts as yet another tacit tax increase.

American Sovereignty? Standing behind the scam tree of climate change/global warming/bad CO2, Progressives would turn America's environmental laws over to United Nation's control so that not only would the first step toward world government be taken, we could be forced to pay global reparations for our past success. There's nothing like watching our constitution turned into recycled toilet paper.

National Security? Amidst the Obama spending spree, the only budget cut I saw was at the expense of our military. You remember them? The ones who defend us, die for us, and fill up Arlington Cemetery for their efforts. After feigning outrage at troop deaths under President George W. Bush, these Progressive sheep in wolves clothing said nothing while Americans shed their blood in Afghanistan waiting for Barack Obama to make a decision on General Stanley McChrystal's request for more soldiers. With friends like these, who needs Al-Qaida?

Technological Prowess? The whole purpose of life under Progressives is the acquisition of health care and the preservation, at any cost, of the environment, thus, technology would not be needed for anything else. Plus, we're now seeing the government dictating executive pay which will further discourage anyone from starting or running a business. Making bosses pariahs and declaring profit an obscenity should combine to finish off capitalism and personal industry.

Happy Society? Political correctness frowns on everything. You' re chastised even if you compliment someone. And if that doesn't work, thanks to Progressive hate speak legislation, prepare to be sued for your humorous remarks, looks, or snorts. Irony may make a comeback.

After 200 years of being in business, government should be getting OUT of our lives not creeping back. Instead, Progressives want us to further worship it. We're headed toward a nation of men without manhood and women without brains who will be more than glad to wait patiently for a permission slip to head down to the bathroom of life.

Progressives? Bah! Unprogressives is what they are and what they should be called.
# # #
graphic © Clyde James Aragon & licensors. All rights reserved


As New Mexico Senator Jeff Bingaman would say, we don't need to know what's going on as they complete health reform in the secrecy of the Obama bat house. It's enough that Americans will be allowed to clean up the guano.

graphic © Clyde James Aragon & licensors. All rights reserved


by © Clyde James Aragon

As the difference between Republicans and Democrats intensifies, as their arguments become shriller, as the national deficit approaches critical mass, it's obvious we've reached the point where conservatives and liberals simply can't live together. We bicker endlessly over taxation, government control, school prayer, and the Second Amendment. We don't even speak the same language these days. For instance:

Liberal: The land belongs to the people, man. It's social justice that allows us to walk freely upon the earth.
Conservative: Get off my lawn, damnit!

However, rather than partition America and try to divide its property evenly, there is one way we could still coexist. That is, create separate national corporate entities and activities apart from each other which would meet the wants and needs of each group. We would have separate sales buildings and work and play areas all well-lit and properly demarcated so that no one would accidentally enter and be offended by what he or she saw. Here's what we would find in a new America:

Liberal Motors: products: Toyota Prius, Honda Civic, Chevy Aveo, Mini Cooper, skateboards, roller skates, pogo sticks
Conservative Motors: products: Cadillac Escalade, Chevy Tahoe, Ford Explorer, Sherman tank, air craft carrier

McObama's: products: horchata, tofu, soybean curd, hummus (remember, hummus IS people)
McDonald's: products: Pepsi, fries, Big Macs, bigger Macs, heart attack Macs

Liberal Heating Corporation: products: solar energy, wind power, bicycle generators, wool blankets
Conservative Heating Corporation: products: gas, oil, nuclear energy, coal, ski jackets

Liberal News Media: products: Air America, New York Times, AnyBS TV news
Conservative News Media: products: Rush Limbaugh EIB network, Wall Street Journal, Fox TV

Liberal Law Enforcement: products: Eric Holder, PeeWee Herman, ACLU
Conservative Law Enforcement: products: Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Dick Tracy, Judge Judy

Liberal Shoe Store: products: Birkenstock, Rockport, Timberland, Ugg, Nike, Reebok
Conservative Shoe Store: products: whatever's on sale

Liberal National Security: products: Peace Corps
Conservative National Security: products: Navy Seals, Army Rangers, Marine Corps

Liberal Health Care Provider: products: witch doctors, over-the-counter medicine, obituaries
Conservative Health Care Provider: products: Mayo Clinic, prescription medicines, tanning salons

Liberal Sports Activities: products: squash, croquet, soccer, planting trees, crocheting, running away from fights
Conservative Sports Activities: products: baseball, football, boxing, hunting, fishing, beating up liberals

As you can see, the nation could be preserved well past the next election if we all decided to agree to disagree and hang out in places where we could rub elbows with the people we honestly respect. So let's give unity a chance before it's too late.

Oh, and stay off my lawn.
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graphic © Clyde James Aragon & licensors. All rights reserved