Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A PLAN FOR WORLD PEACE

Lately I have seen a most worrisome trend going on. And, no, I don't mean things like the belligerence being displayed by China, Iran, North Korea, or Venezuela.

I mean, this push to curb obesity in this country. Every time you pick up the paper or turn on the TV, there's somebody chiding you that we're too fat. That we're eating too much. That we're not getting enough exercise. That food's got too much fat. That we're guzzling too many empty calories from soft drinks. On and on and on.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I've come to believe that obesity is a positive thing.
After all, how many wars have been started and fought by fat people? How many robberies and assaults are perpetrated by the hefty class? Who's ever seen fat people running away from the scene of a crime?

And not only Americans, I think people worldwide should be encouraged to pack on the pounds. Who's going to fight who if they're too busy grazing on Big Macs and French fries? If more people got fat, there'd be damned little time to think about nuclear aggression and armed conflict.

Anyway, it seems to me that heart disease and high blood pressure are a small price to pay for world peace. I think we ought to be promoting weight gain.

If you agree, wave a French fry in my favor.