Thursday, September 30, 2010

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH POLITICS

Just about now you, as an American voter, are reaching critical political mass. Pummeled by incessant TV, radio, and newspaper ads, and deluged by dinnertime taped phone calls you want to kill the next person who brings up the election.

Then, again, you may have crossed over into that Zombieland of voting in which you can't seem to get enough of the heady stuff. While the former state is normal, here's how to tell if you've really had too much politics for the season and are badly in need of a vacation or at least electroshock therapy:

1) You know Sarah Palin's dog's favorite color.

2) You can recite the Hatch Act from memory.

3) You call polling companies and beg to be polled.

4) You can't wait for TV shows to end so you can start enjoying the campaign commercials.

5) You've come to believe that Rand Paul is a type of gold coin.

6) You can spell Ben Bernanke's name forward AND backwards.

7) Your shirt has color-coded campaign buttons with Republicans on the right side, Democrats on the left, and Libertarians down the middle.

8) You agree with every political view no matter who holds it yet become irritated when someone refuses to have an opinion.

9) Your Favorites menu on your computer browser is full of campaign websites.

10) You can't be reached on the Internet because your e-mail account is glutted with campaign spam.

11) You've got a space reserved in front of the early voting place so that you can get there before midnight.

12) You've got a tattoo of your favorite candidate on your shoulder and you were the tattoo artist.

13) You've painted half your car red and the other half blue.

14) You invite campaign flyer distributors into your house for coffee and cookies and to have a heart-to-heart.

15) You've removed the heads from your bobblehead collection and replaced them with leading candidates.

16) You straighten up campaign signs at intersections.

17) Your alarm clock has campaign ads to awaken you.

18) You call radio talk shows just to hear them breathe.

19) Instead of Fantasy Football, you play Fantasy Politics.

20) Your friends avoid you because all you want to talk about is the latest polling numbers.

21) When you dream, it's of filling out your ballot.

22) Your iPod is full of recorded campaign speeches.

23) You're disappointed when, after the phone rings, it's only your mother calling and not a pre-recorded message from a local candidate.

24) You burned out your TIVO recording late-night political shows.

25) Your car has so many campaign stickers on it, it makes two miles less per gallon.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

Thursday, September 16, 2010

QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS

Recently, Martin Heinrich, the man who purports to represent me and the rest of my New Mexico district in the House of Representatives, refused to debate his Republican challenger Jon Barela on KOAT-TV. In this case, Mr. Heinrich was trying to confine the debate to questions he could honestly answer, which these days seems to be limited to his name and age.

This is rather typical of New Mexico's Democrat politicians and from what I read on Liberty Maven, the Internet, and in newspapers, about what you can expect of them wherever you live in our wonderful country. While adroit at stabbing us in the back with every tax and regulation they dream up, darn if you can find them whenever you want them to explain their actions.

So if your congressional representative is like Mr. Heinrich (and he can be of either party as I see them these days), may I proffer a few questions you might ask if you suddenly run into yours in a restaurant, an elevator, or an airport candy shop:

Why did you pass Obamacare without reading it (and if you say you read it, why did House Speaker Nancy Pelosi say "it had to be passed to see what was in it")?

Why, under Obamacare, after being told Americans could keep the insurance they like, are seniors being forced to switch Medicare prescription coverage because the federal government is eliminating choices for them?

Why did you lie to us about the real cost of Obamacare which changes with every CBO report?

Why did you pass a near-trillion dollar stimulus package that, instead of being used to create jobs, has been used to prop up bloated governments across the country?

Why, before the stimulus was passed, were we promised, cross-my-heart-or-hope-to-die, that unemployment would absolutely, positively stop at eight percent?

Why have U.S. tax dollars (actually, more American debt on our children's backs) been used to rebuild Islamic mosques in foreign countries?

Why is the Justice Department being used as a political truncheon to harass and silence any state or person who disagrees with the Obama administration?

Why do you even want to consider passing job-killing cap-and-trade legislation?

And, finally, Mr. Representative-who-I-never-ever-see-in-this-state-unless-you’re-running-for-re-election, could you please explain to me how trillion dollar deficits are going to help this country?

Remember these simple queries, my friends, because running into elected officials by accident may be the only way we ever come into contact with the gods of Washington.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

WHAT AMERICA IS NOT

America is NOT the government, its workers, their unions, or career bureaucrats. It's the people who go to work every day to make the money that supports their families and pays the taxes that keep the government going. THAT is America.

America is NOT the politicians, their aides, or their cadre of 'experts'. It's the people who dutifully show up every election to put their two cents in at the ballot box. THAT is America.

America is NOT the laws that are passed day after day after day. It's the people who live their lives the best way they can, who don't kill, cheat, rob and who go through life cheerfully following the two words that keep this country together: honesty and fairness. THAT is America.

America is NOT the news media. It's the people who go out of their way to inform themselves on issues of the day and simply won't accept whatever is printed or televised before them. They refuse to let people they don't know make up their minds for them and more and more inconveniently question what our politicians and courts are doing to this country. THAT is America.

America is an idea, a concept, a conclusion held together by the sheer will of its people. THAT is America.

Long may her flag fly.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist