Thursday, November 3, 2011


As Occupy Wall Street flexes its protest muscles and President Barack Obama continues his crusade against the rich, the affect on wealth in this country is becoming more and more visible in the entertainment industry and, especially on television game shows. The wealthy, neo-pariahs in a society which used to encourage hard work, personal effort, and thrift, are cause for the re-tooling of many of today's popular give-away programs. And this displeasure with pelf will be enforced by all-Occupy Wall Street audiences.

For example this is what you'll soon be watching when you sit to wolf down that TV dinner of yours:

Meredith Viera, is the sprightly daily host of Who Really Wants To Be A Millionaire? In this game, contestants start out with a million dollars and work diligently at answering questions until their fortune dwindles to nothing. IRS agents are on hand to take them to jail in handcuffs should they have anything left.

Cash Cab has found a new voice and a new way of conducting business on the streets of New York. Driven by stand-up comedian Ben Bailey, he asks a series of questions and, should the riders reach an unacceptable threshold of winnings (the dollar value hidden, of course, from the contestants), they will be dropped off in a seedy part of town where they will be accosted by angry homeless people who have an ax to grind against society.

Pat Sajak and Vanna White continue their hosting duties at Wheel of Misfortune. Spinning a large wheel which has various outcomes such as Personal Bankruptcy, Bitter Divorce, Expensive Medical Problem, or Homeowner Lawsuit. Woe it be to those who hit the spots offering a new Kia car or an all-expensive trip to Hawaii. Irate audience members will be allowed to throw poison darts at departing winners.

You're In Jeopardy Now flings smart people against a board of clues. As players win more and more money by answering the clues with a question, electrical shocks via their hand-held buzzers increase in intensity until they reach a high enough voltage, they electrocute the wealthiest contestants. A fitting end to the greedy rich. Alex Trebek asks, "Who deserves a hearse?"

You have to guess the correct cost of items if you want to win in The Price Is Wrong hosted by the amiable Drew Carey. Time and again contestants will be asked how much an item owned and used by rich people might cost. Things like caviar, Dom Perignon champagne, Gucci shoes, Mercedes automobiles, and Picasso paintings confront and confound guests who have no idea what their value might be. Should one guess correctly, it will be assumed they are a member of the wealthy class and will be held in stocks until the show is over.

Poor Family Feud, Let's Not Make A Deal, Minute To Lose It, and the return of an old fave Just Beat Up Ben Stein And Take His Money will top off your day of television watching.

Thanks to our newfound loathing for the rich, TV will finally reach its lowest common monetary denominator.

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -
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