Sunday, January 15, 2017


We take pleasure in answering at once and thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of the Internet:

Dear Editor of the Internet:
I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Donald Trump.
Papa says, "If you see it in the Internet, it's so."
Please tell me the truth, is there a Donald Trump?

Virginia O'Hanlon
115 West Ninety Fifth Street

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, VIRGINIA, whether they be men's or children's, are little. Especially the minds of liberals, progressives, and socialists. Those are the tiniest minds of all: small, ignorant, and stubborn. They're just plain jerks.

Yes, little snowflake, there is a Donald Trump. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Donald Trump. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance, to make tolerable this existence. We would see not the promise of liberty to think and believe as we choose; to worship and be governed by our God; to speak our mind without reproach; to enjoy the unblemished promise the future holds.

No Donald Trump? Wash my eyes out with cherry soda. There would be no one to stand up against big, despotic government. No one to drain the swamp of career politicians and unchecked bureaucrats. No one to stand tall when the red, white, and blue unfurls in the crisp morning air.

Not believe in Donald Trump! You might as well not believe in tax cuts! You might get your papa to hire men to watch all the roads on Inaugural Day to catch Donald Trump, but even if they did not see Donald Trump coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Donald Trump, but that is no sign that there is no Donald Trump. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Well, let me try another metaphor. Did you ever see an elephant blow his nose into a handkerchief? Of course not; but that's no proof that elephants don't. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. Like smaller government, lower taxes, and less regulations.

No Donald Trump! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, buttercup, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of America.

by © Clyde James Aragon  - All Rights Reserved
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" -

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