Wednesday, February 22, 2017

PAGEANT OF THE OFFENDED


Pageant of the Offended - protesting as an art form
by Clyde James Aragon

There were so many protests throughout the country this President's Day: Not My President, Resist, Anti-Trump rallies from one end of the continent to the other. And in the past few months, people have taken to the streets to protest against enforcing the Immigration Laws, slowing the rate of Abortions, building Pipelines, promoting Black Lives Matter, a Day Without Immigrants, you name it, everywhere the American Left has been on the move, clogging streets and burning everything in their path often aided by George Soros’ money and Barack Hussein Obama’s “Organizing For Action” anti-America organization.

But it got me thinking that a while back they had a “Pageant of the Bands” competition in my hometown where school marching bands competed for honors and recognition. It was an all-day affair and brought a lot of excitement to the city not to mention plenty of out-of-towners coming in to throw around their cash.

So given all the rabble-rousing going on why not take advantage of the situation and do something similar. Like “Pageant of the Offended” where a panel of judges would travel around the country rating protests. It begs to be a reality show. They would compete for prizes and plaques and maybe food coupons.

And there would be so much to rate: offensive language, colorful costumes, rock-hurling, brick tossing, largest placard, most creative use of the f-word, lamppost bending, setting buildings on fire, overturning cars, loudness, unruliness, malodorousness, most unthinkably flagrant breaking of public urination laws, lengthiest time intersections are closed down, the 100-yard run away dash, most intolerant statement given to the media, police boxing, tear gas breathing, profoundest chant, and the use of ‘so’ to begin every sentence.

This would put many cities on the map for who knew places like Albuquerque, Topeka, or Woonsocket (especially Woonsocket) would be such hotbeds of discontent. In this contest, size doesn’t matter. Only enthusiasm and rage.

This could lead to interstate rivalries. Picture governors betting cases of oranges and jars of homemade jam. And then the gambling. Vegas would explode with bets.

Of course, you could have competing groups in the same city going head-to-head for bragging rights, perhaps marching down parallel streets so that they might be better compared. Or it could be done just like Thanksgiving parades with angry mobs walking past downtown TV cameras while entertainment acts performed between groups.

It boggles the mind how entertaining this could all be. And maybe we’ll still remember what they were complaining about.

#     #     #

by © Clyde James Aragon  - All Rights Reserved
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

And visit his Zazzle.com site for humorous bumper stickers, T-shirts, calendars, mugs, etc. at:
CJA the Humorist:  http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist