Full Frontal Stupidity

NEW MEXICO'S CRYBABY DEMOCRAT POLITICIANS

2012-01-31T17:15:00.000-08:00

It's pathetic watching the childish, infantile, spoiled brat, chicken dropping attitude on display by the Democrats at the Greedy Roundhouse. They apparently still haven't gotten over the fact that New Mexicans freely elected a Republican to the Governor's mansion and in their feeble way are trying to make life miserable for her by not confirming her nominees to run the many departments in state government, never mind that they rubber stamped any creep former governor Bill Richardson dragged into this state.

And why is that great 'gentleman' Ben Lujan blocking her initiatives like getting rid of the crooked everybody-gets-a-drivers-license law and doing something about our public schools passing third grade illiterates? In case he's forgotten, we taxpayers are paying for this sulking stupidity.

Enough's enough. This collection of crybaby Democrats needs to be thrown out this November along with a few state supreme court judges.

They work for us NOT the Democrat party.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

HEMINGWAY: The Last Daiquiri

2012-01-27T18:25:00.000-08:00

One of the pleasures of being a writer is that a lot of your friends are writers and you get to see what they're up to. One of my friends is the poet Nilda Cepero of Coral Gables, Florida who has just published a new book titled HEMINGWAY: The Last Daiquiri. Nilda was born in Cuba and her childhood days there and the memory of the great American writer who spent much time there are the inspirations for this new book of poetry. There are numerous historical photos of Hemingway in Cuba and Key West, Florida and most poems begin with a quote from him. Here is one poem from the book:

TROPICAL SPLENDOR

For a true writer, each book should be a new beginning - Ernest Hemingway

Havana changed
forever
after you came ashore
A conga of rhythms in
ruffled skirts and
brews of pungent aromas
trailed you

The forever women
Hadley, Pauline, Martha, Mary
- and others in between - queued
For every book a romance
(Fitzgerald's quote)
Your fantasies
starting in Paris
also came. Shadows
all the way
to Vigia

In love with the Island
like Cole Porter
Always a dreamer, you
longed for and
imagined a new beginning
Unpredictable
all your hopes
sadly turned
a dead-end

© Nilda Cepero from HEMINGWAY: The Last Daiquiri

Lest I be accused of being biased here is a short review by Frank Varela, author of Caleb's Exile:

"It's fashionable now to denigrate Ernest Hemingway's reputation as a man and as a writer. That's why I highly recommend reading Nilda Cepero's homage to Papa in HEMINGWAY: The Last Daiquiri. She gives us an honest portrait of Hemingway that moves beyond stereotype to the central essence of the man."

Nilda Cepero is the editor of LSR (Latino Stuff Review) [1990 to 2005] and Ambos Mundos [2004 to the present]. Her writing has appeared in literary journals in the U.S. and Europe. She is also an accomplished photographer and singer and had her first exhibition: Paris, Poetic Images Of Night And Dawn at the Alliance Francaise in 2007. Her previous books include Sugar Cane Blues, Lil' Havana Blues, A Blues Cantata, and Bohemian Canticles.

HEMINGWAY: The Last Daiquiri (ISBN: 978-1-890953-09-6) is a perfect-bound paperback available through Amazon.com at:
http://www.amazon.com/Hemingway-Last-Daiquiri-Nilda-Cepero/dp/1890953091/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327711698&sr=1-1

THINGS TO THANK BARACK FOR

2011-12-23T18:22:00.000-08:00

In the past few years I have been openly critical, even downright churlish, in regards to our President Barack Obama. I have lambasted his economic policies, socialized medicine plan, foreign apology statements, and inept leadership. But perhaps I have been too harsh. Maybe there are a few silver linings in the dark clouds of gloom he has blown over this nation. And I as I look over his record and its effect on my life, yes, there are many things to be thankful for these days.

Take unemployment. At the beginning of his administration, Mr. Obama boldly promised that if his stimulus plan was immediately passed, the jobless rate would never exceed eight percent, Today, as it hovers between nine and ten percent and as they count people who've given up looking for a job as employed, we reap the blessings of his foresight. Re-wording an old song, 'when I had a job, my pockets did jingle'. Now, as those pockets are empty, they last longer. No large quarters, pompous nickels, or shy dimes to tear them apart. In fact, all of my clothing from assembled-in-Mexico pants to Chinese shirts lasts longer without money or pocket protectors wearing things out.

One great thing about being unemployed, is I no longer have a job I have to go to. That means sleeping late on cold mornings and doing the siesta on hot summer afternoons. No frozen jalopies or sweltering cars for me. No, sir. And the great thing, people who DO have to get up every morning and trudge to work are working for ME. My unemployment check arrives like a Capistrano swallow every week. My only complaint is having to go down to the bank to cash my unemployment check. What a hassle to have to stand in line with one or two people in front of me.

Another fantastic aspect of the Obama Administration is that, thanks to his way of mulling over issues, you can blame others for your problems. Used to be people looked down their noses at grown-up crybabies. Now they're celebrated like foreign dignitaries. Lose your home? Blame the banks. Repossessed your car? It's avaricious General Motors fault. Can't afford a tin of gourmet coffee? Pull out your index finger from its pocket holster and aim it squarely at any grubby grocer you pass. Have to buy an aspirin? It's Big Pharma's fault you have to wait until they're on sale to bring a bottle to the checkout counter. Even if you break into your neighbor's house you'll get a pass. It's society and the economy's fault!

Finally, of all the many things I will give thanks for this year, perhaps the best of all is that I no longer have to deal with friends of the Democrat/Liberal/Progressive/Socialist persuasion. Do you know how good it feels not having to listen to their childish prattle at their dull parties? The Obama Administration is worth its weight in gold for having given me the courage to jettison the entire lot. No longer do I have to walk in to someone's home and hear them boast that they've bought a new antique roadster or Amish end table or Irish toaster. What a relief. Shee, you don't see me go all Lady Gaga every time a polyp busts out on my neck, do you?

Well, President Obama may be doing many things, he may be tanking the economy, he may be creating a whole universe of disdain for us ugly Americans all around the world but, darn it, there are still a few things he's given us that's made life worth looking forward to aside from November 6, 2012.

Bless him for that.

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

SEE THE U.S.A. THE OCCUPY WAY

2011-12-08T09:21:00.000-08:00

As Occupy Wall Street and its myriad offshoots wind down for the winter, its presence has excited a sector of the economy that's been in the doldrums ever since gasoline hit two dollars a gallon. That sector is the domestic tourism industry.

One of the things we've learned from the Occupy Wall Street crowd, aside from civil unrest being a great way to get your face on TV, is that once you've become feared and encamped in a public place, no one wants to move you. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa of Los Angeles issued several mild requests asking the protesters of Occupy Los Angeles to leave but few chose to heed his pleas. On November 30 he summoned the courage and threw them out. Likewise, Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York tried all manner of cajolement over weeks to get Occupy Wall Street people to exit Zucotti Park. Finally, on November 17 he had to pull them out like a bad tooth. These scenes were repeated in city after city with eviction notices being backed up by police truncheons.

Now this may seem like the Occupy movement has been sent packing and in a way it has but it also means that the many civic centers, town plazas, and public parks where demonstrators milled about are deserted and ready for Re-Occupation!

Look, we've had many Occupy franchises operating like Occupy Wall Street in New York, Occupy Los Angeles, Occupy Baltimore, Occupy Boston, Occupy Houston, Occupy Albuquerque, etc. etc. etc. Through the Internet, Facebook, Twitter, and who-knows-what an entire recreation system has been inadvertently created. With a little tweaking we have the start of the new Occupy America Travel Reservation Network where, with a few clicks of the mouse, you'll be able to contact whatever city you want to visit and reserve a coveted downtown spot for your camping gear.

Of course, you'll want to book your destinations early. Some towns and cities fill up faster than others and at certain times of the year. For example, Occupy Phoenix may be great in the January but you may not want to be there in August. And who doesn't want to be in Occupy D.C. in springtime when the cherry trees are flowering?

Now there are many advantages to traveling under the protest banner of Occupy America. Some of the great deals include never having to clean up after yourself before you leave like you might have to in a state or federal campground. When the visitors at Occupy Los Angeles were cleared off in November, they left behind 30 tons of garbage. And get this, they didn't have to pick up a thing! Same with the 70 dump trucks of trash from Occupy Portland's campsite and 26 loads they hauled away from Occupy Wall Street's Zucotti Park. All the clean up done by grateful local municipalities glad to see them go. Is this a great country or what?

Also, you get round-the-clock security. The police are always stopping by to check things out and see how things are going. Sometimes they even go undercover and dress like an Occupy tourist just to satisfy themselves that no one is in any danger. Sweet, huh?

But, as an Occupy America traveler, you do have to act the part. You can't just pull up to some city in your Winnebago, plug your TV into a wall socket, roll out the recliner, and start enjoying yourself. No, you need to have a cause to protest against while you're there and the equipment to make yourself heard. Otherwise people might think you were a homeless person or, worse, a Tea Partier.

Get in the spirit, put batteries in the bullhorn, make a tie-dyed T-shirt or, better, break out the cardboard and write a message on it outlining your outrage against your favorite outrage. Maybe you wan to complain about the lack of bicyclists on the road, or about the outrageously high price of dog shampoo at the pet store, or, the one concern that has so many Americans up in arms these days, the use of chicken as an ingredient in the pepperoni of frozen pizzas. Chicken? What the hell are these people trying to do? Poison us?

So, for the traveler, Occupy America stands to take the stress out of vacations. And when you get down to it, isn't that what at least 99 percent of us want?

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

TELEVISION FOR THE AGE OF THE ANTI-RICH

2011-11-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

As Occupy Wall Street flexes its protest muscles and President Barack Obama continues his crusade against the rich, the affect on wealth in this country is becoming more and more visible in the entertainment industry and, especially on television game shows. The wealthy, neo-pariahs in a society which used to encourage hard work, personal effort, and thrift, are cause for the re-tooling of many of today's popular give-away programs. And this displeasure with pelf will be enforced by all-Occupy Wall Street audiences.

For example this is what you'll soon be watching when you sit to wolf down that TV dinner of yours:

Meredith Viera, is the sprightly daily host of Who Really Wants To Be A Millionaire? In this game, contestants start out with a million dollars and work diligently at answering questions until their fortune dwindles to nothing. IRS agents are on hand to take them to jail in handcuffs should they have anything left.

Cash Cab has found a new voice and a new way of conducting business on the streets of New York. Driven by stand-up comedian Ben Bailey, he asks a series of questions and, should the riders reach an unacceptable threshold of winnings (the dollar value hidden, of course, from the contestants), they will be dropped off in a seedy part of town where they will be accosted by angry homeless people who have an ax to grind against society.

Pat Sajak and Vanna White continue their hosting duties at Wheel of Misfortune. Spinning a large wheel which has various outcomes such as Personal Bankruptcy, Bitter Divorce, Expensive Medical Problem, or Homeowner Lawsuit. Woe it be to those who hit the spots offering a new Kia car or an all-expensive trip to Hawaii. Irate audience members will be allowed to throw poison darts at departing winners.

You're In Jeopardy Now flings smart people against a board of clues. As players win more and more money by answering the clues with a question, electrical shocks via their hand-held buzzers increase in intensity until they reach a high enough voltage, they electrocute the wealthiest contestants. A fitting end to the greedy rich. Alex Trebek asks, "Who deserves a hearse?"

You have to guess the correct cost of items if you want to win in The Price Is Wrong hosted by the amiable Drew Carey. Time and again contestants will be asked how much an item owned and used by rich people might cost. Things like caviar, Dom Perignon champagne, Gucci shoes, Mercedes automobiles, and Picasso paintings confront and confound guests who have no idea what their value might be. Should one guess correctly, it will be assumed they are a member of the wealthy class and will be held in stocks until the show is over.

Poor Family Feud, Let's Not Make A Deal, Minute To Lose It, and the return of an old fave Just Beat Up Ben Stein And Take His Money will top off your day of television watching.

Thanks to our newfound loathing for the rich, TV will finally reach its lowest common monetary denominator.

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and: http://www.zazzle.com/SheilaDog*

IS OCCUPY WALL STREET REALLY OUR MAINSTREAM MEDIA?

2011-11-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

In watching the drama of the Occupy Wall Street crowd endlessly drawn out over the past few weeks by TV, radio, and the press, I'm beginning to wonder if this anti-capitalist cabal isn't really our own mainstream media dressed in drag and mouthing off what they really think of this country instead of having to go to the trouble of slanting the news.

I mean, they're following them around with their cameras and recording equipment and literally egging them on in their exploits. Without media coverage, this crusade would have disappeared in a few days. Propped up by the media, it continues on ad nauseum. Curiously, this kind of attention would never have been given the Tea Party movement.

It's gotten so blatant, I wouldn't be surprised if our diligent reporters and journalists didn't have to be surgically removed from the seats of the dirty pants crowd.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and: http://www.zazzle.com/SheilaDog*

CORRUPTION IN NEW MEXICO. YA THINK?

2011-10-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

Well, once again a high-ranking Democrat is going to get away with murder. In a recent plea deal with the state, Public Regulation Commission bad boy Jerome Block Jr. won't have to serve a minute in jail for his thievery. And he's managed to get his dad added to that amnesty. And, and, and he gets his criminal record expunged if he completes the terms of his agreement.

The only inconvenience for him is that he may have to pay restitution which means he'll get the standard Greg Solano (the ex-sheriff of Santa Fe) discount, a pittance of what he cost us honest taxpayers.

The worst part in this affair, though, is that the curtain behind which state attorney general Gary King operates has fallen and we see him for the glorified mafia lawyer he is.

As I say, the state motto of New Mexico ought to be: Come for an illegal driver's license, stay for the Democrat corruption.

by © Gilbert Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

THE ALBUQUERQUE JOURNAL vs. POLITICAL PARTIES

2011-10-24T07:39:00.000-07:00

The Albuquerque Journal, the morning newspaper for Albuquerque and a few other parts of New Mexico, had on Sunday October 24, 2011 an editorial calling for our state Legislature to open political primaries to independent voters. My response to their nonsense:

As a lifelong independent, I disagree with the Journal's editorial opinion that independents be allowed to vote in political primaries. No one twisted my arm to go the independent route and I don't expect any sort of preferential treatment for having done so.

In spite of your claim that at primary time, political parties are taken over by "extremists", a rather elitist slap at the face of many of your readers, there are a lot of reasons for becoming an independent from a deep internal intellectual debate to following the herd think of public school ignorance. The worst reason, of course, is following the old canard that all parties are alike, that all politicians alike, a view I've heard all my life and that is simply dishonest and wrong.

It would be unfair and unreasonable to saddle political parties with candidates they have not chosen and who may not even have the same beliefs as their party members. I mean, to allow independents to dictate the fate of political parties would be like demanding that vegans have a say in creating McDonalds menus or atheists editing church sermons.

Besides, as a free speech and free association issue, it is none of the Legislature's business (or the Journal's, either) how political parties conduct their business. What you're calling for is a new way for even more political dirty tricks to be added to our political system.

The only reason I can see for this newfound concern for elections by the Journal is that a great amount of these independents are coming out of the Democrat Party. And one way to continue along the liberal/progressive road to hell we're on is to dilute the power of the Republican Party in this state.

Sorry, Albuquerque Journal, but to claim that self-disenfranchisement is a problem is like saying that because I don't have wine for dinner, it should be added to the drinking water so as to help out the state's vintners.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and at:
http://www.zazzle.com/sheiladog*

OBAMA GOES TO HEAVEN

2011-09-21T11:50:00.000-07:00

Obama dies and suddenly finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. It's St. Peter's day off and God is manning the front desk.

God looks him over and says, "Before you can enter Heaven, you have to prove you're worthy of being here. What major accomplisments did you do in life."

Obama thinks for a moment and then says, "Well, I gave everybody a really expensive health care system. I apologized for America and I badmouthed Israel. I took over the banks and the car companies and the insurance corporations. And what I'm most proud of, I taxed the tar out of all the greedy millionaires and billionaires."

God pulls out a big cigar and lights it up with a thousand dollar bill. He takes a long, satisfying puff.

"Excuse me," He says. "What were you saying about millionaires and billionaires?"

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist
and: http://www.zazzle.com/SheilaDog

THE BEER STEIN JOKE

2011-08-30T15:29:00.000-07:00

Two cups were sitting on a bar counter when a fight broke out between two men. Punches were thrown and it was pretty even until one of them picked up a beer stein and knocked out the other with it. In fact, he hit him so hard, the beer stein lodged on the side of the unconscious man's face.

One cup nudged the other, pointed at the beer stein, and said, "Will you get a load of that guy's mug!"

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and at:
http://www.zazzle.com/sheiladog*

TODAY'S WELFARE PARENT - SO CHIC, SO MODERN

2011-08-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

The government provides their children with free breakfast, the government provides their children with free lunch, and, in some states, the government provides their children with free dinner.

If they take advantage of various school drives, they can get free school supplies, free coats and clothing, and, come Christmastime, free toys.

The government provides their children with free health care, eyeglasses, and dental care. The government provides their children, through their family, with subsidized housing and, in winter, can even get their heating bill paid for by the government.

So what exactly is expected from today's modern Welfare parent?

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and at:
http://www.zazzle.com/sheiladog*

STIMULUS BALONEY

2011-07-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

Why does the media keep trying to convince us that the stimulus spending program was about creating jobs? Looking at where the money went, it should have been called the Government Preservation Act. It handed out life preservers to bureaucrats so they wouldn't drown in the economic toilet we find ourselves in today.

Sadly, you have a president, a Democrat Party, and a willing public that no longer much believes in private enterprise, capitalism, hard work, or even personal freedom. You can see where this country's going and it ain't gonna be pretty.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and: http://www.zazzle.com/SheilaDog*

OSAMA IS DEAD - LONG LIVE OSAMA

2011-05-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

In watching the ever-changing drama of the Osama Bin Laden killing, we are given yet another example of why Democrats make lousy leaders. From Jimmy Carter to Barack Obama, we've gone from The Gang Who Couldn't Shoot Straight to The Gang Who Couldn't Lie Straight. And at the rate things are going, by the end of the month, the story line coming out of the White House will be that it was Bin Laden's Avon lady who was actually killed in the raid and that he and Saddam Hussein escaped in a camouflaged rickshaw.

In this morass, the American people, as usual, are stuck trying to gather accurate information from conservative talk radio, the British press, and WikiLeaks.

And to add fuel to the fire is the behavior of our own pathologically-insane news media which is working overtime to make the job of our nation's military even harder by playing up the possibility that Bin Laden was unarmed. To them I ask, how many Americans killed on 9/11 were armed?

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and: http://www.zazzle.com/SheilaDog*

UP IN SMOKE

2011-04-07T11:43:00.000-07:00

How ironic that the Legislature of the state of New Mexico just passed a law making synthetic marijuana illegal while only a few years ago having made medical marijuana available to the public.

One can only conclude that they were trying to do one of three things: 1) push more organic products; 2) cut out the competition; 3) try to outlaw 'cannibals'.

Given the Progressive nature of New Mexico, perhaps they were only trying to ease the pain that will soon be inflicted on us through Obamacare.

by © Gilbert Aragon/Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*and at:
http://www.zazzle.com/sheiladog*

WHEN THE WATER COPS COME

2011-04-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

Like a hibernating bear, Albuquerque's water cops have awoken to Spring weather to harass and threaten the city's homeowners. As usual, they are out telling us to use less and less water poised at any moment to get out their ticket book and start issuing fines for water waste which they define as water running in the street and sprinklers on between certain hors during the day.

Which is all nice, as who wants to see water wasted after all. However, the biggest waster of water continues to be the City of Albuquerque with rotting water pipes everywhere at the ready to break and spew away their precious liquid. Not to mention the City's watering of curbs and sidewalks as they strive to make asphalt grow in our parks. Oh, and let's not overlook their street median program which places water-hungry plants and trees in the middle of our roads.

The City of Albuquerque doesn't want us to use water but it's more than happy to use all it can pump.

But just say for a minute they really meant all this. What's the reason for making us turn off the faucet? As far as I can see, it's so they can continue to grow the city and bring in more businesses and more people who will continue to use more water. And then the city will harass us even more over our water usage so they can continue growing this city as they see fit.

I've yet to see any benefit from bringing in more people. We get higher and higher water bills, our property taxes keep rising, our streets get more crowded, our schools get lousier, our crime rates continue to rise.

Maybe it would be a godsend if Albuquerque did run out of water.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity"
http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

see more of him at:
http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and: http://www.zazzle.com/SheilaDog*

MANKIND'S IMPENDING DOOM

2011-03-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

As calls to close nuclear power plants mount due to our propaganda Main Steam Media working overtime to scare the living daylights out of us over the safety of nuclear energy, what do we have left to heat our homes? Coal? That's too messy and creates too many greenhouse gases. Natural gas? But we have to go out into our untapped national forests and drill for it there and that just annoys the hell out of our forest friends, the marmot AND the gray squirrel. Oil? Well, we just went through an horrendous oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico in which highly-paid television professionals actually got their hands wet picking up cups of seawater which proved that the oil was destroying the fecal matter off the coast of Louisiana. So what's left? Really?

You could try wind turbines but they won't cut the mustard because they need the howling winds caused by global warming (which will go away as soon as we're all forced to walk to work). Solar panels depend on pure, clean sunshine which will not be available because the non-global warming environment will only make clouds appear all across the earth and block this precious natural electrical resource.

So what's left?

Sweaters!

Yes, my friends, the much maligned and snickered at sweater is the only thing standing between us and a certain frozen death this next winter. Without coal to run our power plants and create the electricity to power our space heaters and compact fluorescent bulbs, without nuclear power plants to also provide us with that same electricity, without gas to heat our homes and cook our non-organic burgers, and without fuel oil to burn in our heaters we face the terrible dilemma that we could get cold. The thought should terrify every man, woman, and child who wants to get a decent night's sleep in this country of ours.

The sweater, the last national treasure we can use without being called a racist or a selfish consuming machine is the only thing left that may save us and, perhaps, the rest of mankind from a frozen genocide. With or without pockets, this comfortable article of clothing will be able to fend off the coldest of days and the frostiest of nights. And it's stylish, as well, in a grandpa-like sort of way.

But what could we make them out of? Cotton? Well, we have to divert water to keep endangered silver minnow and carp from becoming extinct so that's out of the question. Acrylic fiber? Again, that's made out of oil and you know what that causes. Wait, wool! No, that's exploiting animals and PETA would be on our backs in a heartbeat branding us all heartless animal-killing bastards. There's naval lint, but that would be too hard to collect, what with privacy rights and all.We can't really make proper sweater fiber out of recycled paper but maybe we could knit them out of string. Certainly, this is a nation held together by string.

Yeah, the string sweater. And in the summer we would all wear string bikinis.

On second thought, forget about it. We're doomed. Make out your last will and testament, pick a nice shady spot near a tree, and go to sleep in the snow.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
and at http://www.zazzle.com/sheiladog*

MICHELLE GOES TO HEAVEN

2011-02-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

Michelle Obama dies and seconds later finds herself before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Michelle," says Saint Peter, "in order to get into heaven, you have to tell me one good thing you did for humanity."

"Well," says Michelle, "I made all the kids in public schools eat healthy foods."

"Like what?" asks Saint Peter.

"Like broccoli and spinach and celery and tofu."

Saint Peter takes out a huge jumbo Snickers bar, unwraps it, and takes a big bite.

"Go on," he says.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

ANOTHER RIP-OFF FROM DETROIT

2011-02-17T07:40:00.000-08:00

It is a true disgrace to read that General Motors is giving workers there big bonuses at the same time the American taxpayer still hasn't been repaid the billions of dollars that were loaned to them after their bad management and greedy union workers ran the company into the ground.

And worse, when you see congressional delegations everywhere acting like they know nothing about what occurred. Here in New Mexico, too, not a peep from Jeff Bingaman, Tom Udall, Martin Heinrich, Ben Lujan, or Steve Pearce over this baloney. Our congressional delegation is as utterly useless as every other state's.

Until General Motors, really Gimme Motors, repays the money they took from us, we will continue to buy Fords.

by © Manuel T. Aragon/Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

NEW MEXICO'S LATEST MONEY-SUCKING PROPOSAL

2011-02-17T07:37:00.000-08:00

I'd like to nominate New Mexico's state senator Tim Jennings of Roswell for a Razzie for his idea of dumping more taxes onto the backs of the New Mexico taxpayer to keep funding the so-called movie industry here at its current 25 percent film production rebate. As Burt Ward would have told Adam West, "Holy rip-off, Batman!"

Do he and all the other "powerful lawmakers" in the Legislature have any brains at all? Thanks to this genius and the rest, we're a half billion dollars in the hole paying for the money-sucking, money-losing Space Port, Rail Runner, and every backyard museum someone somewhere has sitting around. And, by golly, they want to keep this status quo by further funding this cinematic rat hole.

If you believe in the hallmarks of America: private industry, private companies, free-market capitalism; then the state should get the hell out of the movie business. These mooching Hollywood movie companies are, after all, private corporations and they should get their own money themselves. For decades it's worked that way until geniuses like Mr. Jennings came along to bribe them into New Mexico to do work they were doing here all along.

We've had many movies made here in New Mexico without the need for taxpayer funding. And it's a good thing. If "Easy Rider" had been filmed in Taos today, our tax money would have been used to pay for a drug-and-sex orgy for the film crew and the accompanying munchie wagon that would have fed them. Now its being used to pay the bloated salaries of Hollywood reprobates and local ham actors.

Besides, what are we getting for our money? Many of the movies made with our tax dollars have been ultra-violent low audience dreck, featuring the sexual morality of alley cats. We even, in this state where drunk driving is a major problem, cheerfully funded "Beer Fest", a movie about binge drinking. My God, what idiot would fund such a movie? Well, I'll tell you, a New Mexico idiot, that's who.

As anyone can see, far too much of our tax money is being used to undermine the strong religious principles of many New Mexicans. Thomas Jefferson said it best, "To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical ". Of course, in New Mexico you can't normally tell the difference between tyranny and stupidity.

Let the private movie industry go its own way. New Mexico government and its legislative bosses should focus their energies on their normal duty: overseeing our incredibly incompetent and wasteful state bureaucracy.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

NEW MEXICO'S NEWS MEDIA SUCKS

2011-02-17T06:16:00.000-08:00

Now that the New Mexico state legislature is being urged on to investigate the recent natural gas crisis we just went through, you know they will take up the call for if there's anything our politicians here savor more than spending the money in their constituents' wallets, its grandstanding before the public.

But, along with executives of New Mexico Gas Company and PNM, they also should be calling members of the news media to explain their behavior in this event. And especially TV news reporters for, as I see it, a good deal of our problems came about because of their highly-biased, anti-utility company coverage.

The first thing I heard on TV at the outset was finger pointing. "Who dropped the ball?" one asked, never mind the horrendously bad weather they were having in Texas where much of our extra gas supply was going to come from or their rolling brown-outs there making it nearly impossible to ship the gas through pipelines.

And then they began ratcheting up the air of panic they were creating. They interviewed everyone they could find who could bellyache, gripe, and weep before the cameras. This was kept up constantly day in and day out.

Governor Susana Martinez was affected by this and irrationally sent the National Guard down to Taos. What did the National Guard know about natural gas distribution or starting up heaters and appliances properly? They were just getting in everybody's way The Governor also demanded hourly progress reports as though that were going to solve the crisis. Truly bizarre behavior brought about solely to appease the crying heads on TV.

Further, because the gas company employees found themselves in this state of panic, I don't think they were thinking things out properly. They ran down to Taos and elsewhere trying to do things willy-nilly with no set plan, also trying to show they were on the job and get the griping news media mouths off their backs.

Then the media set its sight on missed press conferences and public meetings. Frankly, why should they have gone. This would have been another opportunity for smarmy reporters to try to make them look bad and, as far as, public gatherings, why would they go just to be cussed at. The TV news would have really loved this as they could have shown angry people shouting out and embarrassed gas officials trying to answer their queries.

Not that the gas and electric companies are blameless. They showed themselves to be horrendously inept and clueless on handling a situation they should have been prepared for. Damn right they have plenty to answer for.

But how is anyone supposed to act coolly and professionally when you have a 24-hour screaming news media on your back, picking sides, finger-pointing, and making a bad situation infinitely worse. And in this, I never a saw a single report on overworked gas and electric company workers who were away from their homes and families. It was as though they were no more than beasts of the field to most media talking heads.

This crisis made me realize that the news media, especially TV, is a desperate type of insect which feeds off all the hate and confusion it can create. This wasn't news coverage at all but, rather, anti-corporate propaganda doled out by people who neither understand gas or electric distribution and its attendant problems, and who shoot off their mouths to make it seem they are intelligent.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

PARADE OF THE PHONIES

2011-01-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

What a show of insincerity the media is putting on these days as Ronald Reagan's 100th birthday approaches. They belittled him from the day he took the presidential oath to the day he left the White House. He was called stupid, thick-headed, a cowboy, a war monger. Comedy shows mocked him every chance they could. News anchors looked upon him with disdain at his every move.

Now, as they see that they can make money off his memory with themed magazines and advertising sales on Reagan tribute shows, these same media hypocrites praise him for his courage and leadership.

I'll wager we'll see the same sudden respect for George W. Bush from this lot some day.

Sorry, but to be praised by scoundrels is not to be praised at all.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

MY GOVERNMENT - MY MOM

2010-11-10T20:16:00.000-08:00

Leave it to the federal government to come up with a way to liven up cigarette sales in America. Beginning in September 2011, the Food and Drug Administration will require cigarette manufacturers to put graphic warning labels that depict the horrors of smoking. The pictures will have to cover half a package's front and back and will feature diseased lungs,‭ ‬corpses, and a man smoking a cigarette through a tracheotomy tube.

Let's face it, cigarette packaging has become a tad too stodgy what with basic lettering, models holding cigarettes, camels, and smiling people. These new visually-stunning graphics should help spark sales and, finally, we'll have packaging worthy for other uses other than being tossed into the recycling bin.

And while the FDA's at it, why not do something about those dreadfully dull names cigarette companies slap on their products, names like Kool, Winston, Camel, Marlboro. What's that about? If you want to get sales a-popping throw in a little danger. Fill those store shelves with brands like Death Stick, Lung Destroyer, Widow Maker, Cancer Maggot, and so on. Now THAT's something worth asking for at your local grocery store, a whole lot more exciting than asking meekly for a pack of Benson & Hedges.

But why should the FDA stop there. Hell, if you're going to run the entire retail system in this country, make McDonald's put an x-ray of clogged arteries on the side of their Big Mac box; stick a coffin photo next to the mileage tag of every Smart Car waiting to be sold; affix a drawing of a retching man on Budweiser bottles; etch a broken toe graphic onto bowling balls; put baby pictures on condom packs; and, finally, place a picture of a dewy-eyed horse on every hot dog package sitting in grocery store coolers in this country.

Will sales go through the roof or what?

While many may think of this activity as nagging adults, in reality this is nothing more than plain, old-fashioned concern, the kind of concern you would have heard in your mother's voice as she would shout out at you in your youth: "Get off that fence, you're going to fall off!", "Let that dog go, he may have rabies!", "Stop playing with those matches!", and the one that always got my attention, "Quit playing with your father's loaded gun!" Our government is really an anxious mother looking out for its head-strong kids.

If this isn't a brilliant stroke of genius coming out of the Obama Administration to get the economy going, to put Americans to work, to create an unending stream of new jobs, well I don't know what else it could be.

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

LOOKING FOR BLAME IN A FREE ELECTION

2010-11-07T15:48:00.000-08:00

In reading local newspapers and channel surfing through TV political commentary shows it is quite apparent that the Mainstream Media has taken on the Herculean task of trying to discredit the Tea Party movement. With the results of the recent national election in hand, media pundits try to claim every Republican loss as attributable to their meddling and every Democrat win a repudiation of their beliefs. Tea Party-supported victors are seen as an anomaly.

But nowhere is this new crusade more evident than in the Mainstream Media's newly-concocted premise that the Tea Party was responsible for Republican losses in the Senate. Christine O'Donnell, Sharon Angle, and Ken Buck were all puppets of the Tea Party and all losers at the ballot box. They got theirs, so the storyline goes. Ha-ha!

Nevertheless, if one swallows the Mainstream Media's thinking, it must then follow that the Mainstream Media itself was responsible for the Democrat losses in the House. While Tea Party miscalculations might have contributed to Republican defeats, it appears that Keith Olberman's secret Democrat donations, Chris Matthew's thrill up his leg, and the open bias seen in the body language of news anchors of the Top Three television networks all worked together to defeat the Democrats pulling Nancy Pelosi's rickshaw.

But what a spectacle America was treated to in the days before November 2nd and what a comparison between these two competing titans: if the Tea Party was strident, the Mainstream Media was shrill; if the Tea Party was energized, the Mainstream Media was dour; if the Tea Party looked away from the establishment, the Mainstream Media was the establishment; if the Tea Party labored for free, the Mainstream Media feasted off campaign advertising revenue; and if the Tea Party fought for the freedom inherent in capitalism and democracy, the Mainstream Media worked to enforce the enslavement built into big government and socialism.

The Tea Party represented the spirit of independence that wrested this country from wilderness and brutality, the Mainstream Media represented the sloth and oppressiveness of the British Monarchy. Given the choice, was it really the Tea Party which lost in this election or the Mainstream Media?

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

THE SINKING SHIP

2010-10-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

As high profile White House personalities like chief of staff Rahm Emanuel and chief economic advisor Larry Summers hog the spotlight as they leave the Obama administration at midterm, there are also lesser known, yet just as important, figures departing. They have toiled tirelessly in their positions but now merit nary a glance from the press as they exit through the wide White House doors.

For example, there is Albert Springwater, who is the president's teleprompter cleaner. "It's a very important job," he says. "Without a clean and readable screen, the President might go from talking about oil drilling to reciting the Gettysburg Address. In fact, I let one of my assistants go the other day when, because of careless wiping, the president mistook the word 'France' for 'Venezuela' and threatened to put a sea blockade on Paris."

But what really lured him away from his prestigious White House job? "There was an opening at Best Buy that I just could not ignore. Aisle after aisle of TVs waiting to be dusted off and sprayed with glass cleaner. How could I pass up an opportunity like that?"

Another soul looking wistfully at the exit sign is Billy Tribs, the youngest economic advisor in American history. His reason for leaving? "My parents are moving to New Haven and they want me to attend fifth grade there. This has been a great job but sometimes you have to follow your heart."

And his most memorable accomplishment? "My dad said don't tax the rich, but the way I saw it, this was the only way to get back at parents who won't let you stay up past nine. Payback is payback."

For Doroteo Arango, chief head of immigration in the western United States, the decision was made for him. "Many people said I was pushed out but, actually, my green card ripened and turned red. Besides my aging mother needs help keeping the drug traffickers off her lawn in Tijuana."

Bo Marker is the official White House Excuse Maker. His job is to deflect criticism from the president and his policies with witty and trenchant comebacks.

His proudest moment before he leaves in late December? "I coined the phrase, 'It's Bush's fault'. Before that, everyone was blaming poor Fannie and Freddie Mae oversight. It kept the heat off the president's spending plans."

Another accomplishment? "I co-wrote Vice President Biden's recent statement at a Minnesota fundraiser that he'd 'strangle members of the GOP who complain about the federal budget'. But I was somewhat disappointed that my observation that 'Republicans eat little children' was deleted. Oh, well, some battles aren't worth fighting."

Finally, one of the least recognized but most important luminaries heading into retirement is Arthur Tutek. His work on the Obama healthcare program may be unfathomable but it is there, somewhere in the thousands of pages of the massive bill. His work speaks of his legal roots, he is a trial attorney, and of his great concern for the downtrodden, especially the downtrodden lawyer. "My contribution to the healthcare bill was allowing more opportunities for needed litigation. For example, it's about time patients were able to sue the food staff. How many times do you hear heart-breaking stories of people not receiving their fruit cups in their dinner tray. Fruit is an essential part of our diet. We all need fruit and in depriving people of their fruit we're creating severe complications somewhere down the line."

But it doesn't end there. "I'm all for going after janitorial staffs. Who hasn't used a hospital bathroom or doctor's office where they've got inferior-quality toilet paper hanging from their rolls. We're talking about the one that's made out of recycled wax paper. Patients should have the right to expect good toilet paper, you know, that kind those bears use on TV."

Though these White House people are not as as well-known as their more televised superiors, their stories need to be told.

We hope we have gotten the word out on the important work they did.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH POLITICS

2010-09-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

Just about now you, as an American voter, are reaching critical political mass. Pummeled by incessant TV, radio, and newspaper ads, and deluged by dinnertime taped phone calls you want to kill the next person who brings up the election.

Then, again, you may have crossed over into that Zombieland of voting in which you can't seem to get enough of the heady stuff. While the former state is normal, here's how to tell if you've really had too much politics for the season and are badly in need of a vacation or at least electroshock therapy:

1) You know Sarah Palin's dog's favorite color.

2) You can recite the Hatch Act from memory.

3) You call polling companies and beg to be polled.

4) You can't wait for TV shows to end so you can start enjoying the campaign commercials.

5) You've come to believe that Rand Paul is a type of gold coin.

6) You can spell Ben Bernanke's name forward AND backwards.

7) Your shirt has color-coded campaign buttons with Republicans on the right side, Democrats on the left, and Libertarians down the middle.

8) You agree with every political view no matter who holds it yet become irritated when someone refuses to have an opinion.

9) Your Favorites menu on your computer browser is full of campaign websites.

10) You can't be reached on the Internet because your e-mail account is glutted with campaign spam.

11) You've got a space reserved in front of the early voting place so that you can get there before midnight.

12) You've got a tattoo of your favorite candidate on your shoulder and you were the tattoo artist.

13) You've painted half your car red and the other half blue.

14) You invite campaign flyer distributors into your house for coffee and cookies and to have a heart-to-heart.

15) You've removed the heads from your bobblehead collection and replaced them with leading candidates.

16) You straighten up campaign signs at intersections.

17) Your alarm clock has campaign ads to awaken you.

18) You call radio talk shows just to hear them breathe.

19) Instead of Fantasy Football, you play Fantasy Politics.

20) Your friends avoid you because all you want to talk about is the latest polling numbers.

21) When you dream, it's of filling out your ballot.

22) Your iPod is full of recorded campaign speeches.

23) You're disappointed when, after the phone rings, it's only your mother calling and not a pre-recorded message from a local candidate.

24) You burned out your TIVO recording late-night political shows.

25) Your car has so many campaign stickers on it, it makes two miles less per gallon.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS

2010-09-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

Recently, Martin Heinrich, the man who purports to represent me and the rest of my New Mexico district in the House of Representatives, refused to debate his Republican challenger Jon Barela on KOAT-TV. In this case, Mr. Heinrich was trying to confine the debate to questions he could honestly answer, which these days seems to be limited to his name and age.

This is rather typical of New Mexico's Democrat politicians and from what I read on Liberty Maven, the Internet, and in newspapers, about what you can expect of them wherever you live in our wonderful country. While adroit at stabbing us in the back with every tax and regulation they dream up, darn if you can find them whenever you want them to explain their actions.

So if your congressional representative is like Mr. Heinrich (and he can be of either party as I see them these days), may I proffer a few questions you might ask if you suddenly run into yours in a restaurant, an elevator, or an airport candy shop:

Why did you pass Obamacare without reading it (and if you say you read it, why did House Speaker Nancy Pelosi say "it had to be passed to see what was in it")?

Why, under Obamacare, after being told Americans could keep the insurance they like, are seniors being forced to switch Medicare prescription coverage because the federal government is eliminating choices for them?

Why did you lie to us about the real cost of Obamacare which changes with every CBO report?

Why did you pass a near-trillion dollar stimulus package that, instead of being used to create jobs, has been used to prop up bloated governments across the country?

Why, before the stimulus was passed, were we promised, cross-my-heart-or-hope-to-die, that unemployment would absolutely, positively stop at eight percent?

Why have U.S. tax dollars (actually, more American debt on our children's backs) been used to rebuild Islamic mosques in foreign countries?

Why is the Justice Department being used as a political truncheon to harass and silence any state or person who disagrees with the Obama administration?

Why do you even want to consider passing job-killing cap-and-trade legislation?

And, finally, Mr. Representative-who-I-never-ever-see-in-this-state-unless-you’re-running-for-re-election, could you please explain to me how trillion dollar deficits are going to help this country?

Remember these simple queries, my friends, because running into elected officials by accident may be the only way we ever come into contact with the gods of Washington.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist

WHAT AMERICA IS NOT

2010-09-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

America is NOT the government, its workers, their unions, or career bureaucrats. It's the people who go to work every day to make the money that supports their families and pays the taxes that keep the government going. THAT is America.

America is NOT the politicians, their aides, or their cadre of 'experts'. It's the people who dutifully show up every election to put their two cents in at the ballot box. THAT is America.

America is NOT the laws that are passed day after day after day. It's the people who live their lives the best way they can, who don't kill, cheat, rob and who go through life cheerfully following the two words that keep this country together: honesty and fairness. THAT is America.

America is NOT the news media. It's the people who go out of their way to inform themselves on issues of the day and simply won't accept whatever is printed or televised before them. They refuse to let people they don't know make up their minds for them and more and more inconveniently question what our politicians and courts are doing to this country. THAT is America.

America is an idea, a concept, a conclusion held together by the sheer will of its people. THAT is America.

Long may her flag fly.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist

THE AGE OF FEDERAL GOVERNMENT RACIAL PROFILING

2010-07-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

The Associated Press is reporting that our Justice Department is going to be watching Arizona for any hints of racial profiling so that they can jump in with another lawsuit against the state.

Interestingly, on Election Day November 2008, the members of the New Black Panthers raised cane with voters at a polling place in Philadelphia wearing uniforms and brandishing billy clubs. The same Justice Department, after looking into the matter, dropped prosecution of the people involved, leading federal prosecutor J. Christian Adams to resign from the Justice Department in protest.

If it had been white supremacists intimidating voters by waving Bibles in the air they would have prosecuted them; if it had been Ku Klux Klan Grand Dragons (the late Robert Byrd excluded) intimidating voters with burning crosses they would have prosecuted them; if it had been Aryan Nation members toting guns they would have prosecuted them. But it wasn't, it was an angry horde of black supremacists intimidating voters and trying to distract poll workers so that A.C.O.R.N. members could vote illegally, and that was okay.

By practicing federal intimidation of states, our Justice Department, led by Eric Holder, is using its own form of racial profiling - or should I say racist profiling - to decide who and who not to prosecute.

Welcome to Obama's America 2010.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/
see more of him at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist

BORDERS, WHAT BORDERS?

2010-07-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

The Arizona immigration situation reminds me so much of when the Minutemen group came to our borders a few years back and shamed the federal government to start doing something about our borders. This, to me, is a continuation of this same shaming of our government to fulfill its responsibilities.

I guess it will take our states creating their own armies to stand up to Islamic extremism just to recognize that problem, too.

Our federal government is excellent at taking our money but darn lousy at doing any meaningful work to deserve it.

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

Mr. Blame-It-On-Somebody-Else

2010-06-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

The Official Barack Obama Blame List:

George W.‭ ‬Bush,‭ ‬tea parties,‭ ‬talk radio,‭ ‬right wing extremists,‭ ‬Republicans,‭ ‬religious right,‭ ‬NRA,‭ ‬banks,‭ ‬corporations,‭ ‬George W.‭ ‬Bush,‭ ‬Wall Street,‭ ‬insurance companies,‭ ‬Congress,‭ ‬al-Qaeda,‭ ‬private practice doctors,‭ ‬CEOs,‭ ‬big oil,‭ ‬Israel,‭ ‬pollsters,‭ ‬Fox News,‭ ‬the American people,‭ ‬and George W.‭ ‬Bush...

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

and see the shirts: http://www.zazzle.com/official_obama_blame_list_tshirt-235462919753555186* and http://www.zazzle.com/official_obama_blame_list_2_tshirt-235919009268652700*
and bumper stickers: http://www.zazzle.com/official_obama_blame_list_bumper_sticker-128810297481915408* and http://www.zazzle.com/official_obama_blame_list_ii_bumper_sticker-128739712465227294*
all at http://www.zazzle.com/cja_the_humorist*

IMMIGRATION JOKE

2010-06-26T12:12:00.000-07:00

A Liberal, while at a pro-illegal alien rally in Arizona, gets hit over the head by a protest sign and dies. Seconds later he appears before Saint Peter. The Liberal is kind of scared standing there before God's gatekeeper as he hasn't really lived a particularly exemplary life. He tries to smile.

"Nationality?" asks St. Peter.

"American," says the Liberal.

"Great," says Saint Peter. "We're having a special this week: all Americans go straight to Heaven."

"Wonderful," says the Liberal, who's ecstatic over his sudden good fortune.

"Okay, now if I can just see your citizenship papers," says Saint Peter.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

GENERAL DISORDER

2010-06-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

Poor General Stanley McChrystal. He's finding out that a Rolling Stone article gathers nothing but mud.

Making unflattering comments on President Obama, Vice President Biden, and others in the Administration from Hell, McChrystal picked the wrong president to criticize. If only he'd mocked George W. Bush, he would have been fine. In fact, our leftist media would have made him a hero, nay, they would have petitioned the Vatican to have him beatified. They would have begged for even more interviews and haled him as a courageous, independent, and fearless military leader who stood by his principles. They would have followed him around like a Hollywood celebrity. Anyone remember Cindy Sheehan?

Instead, as he has chosen the socialist media darling of a president to speak his mind on, he's nothing more than a drunken, loud-mouthed schmuck. A typical baby-killing brute. He should get what he has coming.

Neverthless, what General McChrystal said is all too true. Obama is inept, incompetent, and frankly, doesn't give a damn about America.

However, he looks great on the golf course.

by © Clyde James Aragon

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

LISTENING TO THE GREAT ONE'S SPEECH

2010-06-17T12:52:00.001-07:00

I nearly drowned in all the B.S. gushing out of President Obama's anti-British Petroleum speech on June 15. It was cliches followed by fawning political platitudes followed by more cliches. If anything, someone should have capped this speech.

But mostly it was a compilation speech, things we've already heard over the past couple of months since the Gulf oil well exploded. It was "The Best of Barack Obama Trying to Act Presidential". Only I didn't have to send $9.95 plus shipping and handling to some company in California for it. It intruded on a perfectly fine television evening.

One thing I'm getting tired though, in Barack's speeches, is his juvenile "they're going to pay for this" stuff. Accidents happen, look at our last presidential election. Accidents are accidents whether you like it or not and making fate and random bad luck a criminal offense is hardly going to solve anything.

Anyway, the whole speech ended with a predictable call for more government action, in which we, the American people, pay for this mess with cap-and-trade legislation and a nice fat carbon tax.

As I finished watched his speech I felt a strange sensation on my butt. As though someone was drilling into my wallet.

Musta been my imagination.

by © Clyde James Aragon
from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

ARIZONA THE BEAUTIFUL

2010-05-20T09:53:00.001-07:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

I think that Arizona, in the interest of interstate cooperation, should take the high road in this immigration controversy by offering to ship any illegal aliens they arrest to California, Santa Fe, the White House, Massachusetts, and any town or city in America that has shown a willingness to set aside the immigration laws for their crusade for human rights. Stimulus money could be used and this could become a boon to the transportation industry. Our airlines, railroads, and buses, currently begging for customers, will busily ply our national byways with new fares.

I'm sure concerned Progressives everywhere would be willing to take in a family or individual and house and feed them for a few years as Progressives are quite the humanitarians. Perhaps they could even have a little contest to create a Sanctuary Home logo that would not only show who was in it but how worried the owners of that abode are over these people.

It seems unfair that Arizona alone should keep all these illegal immigrants to themselves so I know that unselfish Progressives, Democrats, Liberals, and Socialists everywhere will soon be stepping forward to ask for their fair share of these people. In fact, I'm sure the demand will become so great we will have to ration them, perhaps holding drawings to see who gets them. Riots might even break out at dispersion centers and it's quite possible that the call for warm bodies could become so large we may even demand that Mexico and other countries step up the pace in sending us more.

It's possible that Arizona might be able to turn a few bucks in this arena. Illegal alien tourism could become the next rage what with tour groups coming in to see illegal crossing points, actual arrests, and ICE holding areas. And tourists just love to buy overpriced trinkets.

But in looking at all the pluses involved in exporting illegal aliens all over the country, the one that stands out the most has to do with all those empty guest rooms, attics, cellars, and garages we have at our disposal. With illegals in the house no more will the deafening sound of silence pervade our semi-vacant homes. The never-ending patter of feet will lull us to sleep at night and awaken us in the morning.

As we are now well into redistributing wealth, so should we be redistributing people.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

THE PARTY OF NO

2010-05-18T13:11:00.000-07:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

In the past year or so the Republican Party has acquired the sobriquet of the 'the party of no' for standing up to the socialist lunacy Mr. Obama and members of his party want visited upon this nation. However, if you look at the record, it's really the Democrat Party that should be given that title. Look at their list of NOs:

NO you can't have your taxes cut, NO you can't have smaller government, NO you can't have a balanced budget, NO you can't have less government intrusion into your life, NO you can't expect to hear God mentioned in the public schools, NO you can't have an end to abortions you're forced to pay for with your tax money, NO you can't have an enforced immigration policy, NO you can't define marriage as between a man and a woman, NO you can't have a reasonable foreign policy, NO you can't expect the Constitution to be followed to the letter, NO you can't demand that we stop apologizing to other countries, NO you can't have personal responsibility, NO you can't have less government regulations, NO you can't cut welfare payments especially to those here illegally, NO you can't have secure borders, NO you can't have a common language, NO you can't have a military focused on victory, NO you can't have a free enterprise system that's free, NO you can't have a gun, No you can't make us stop hassling Arizona, NO you can't expect us to do what you want us to do even though you tell us what to do, NO you can't know what's in legislation until it's passed and can't be repealed or changed, NO you can't have strong support for Israel, No you can't call terrorist terrorists, NO you can't ask that when people buy a home they have the financial wherewithal to afford it, NO you can't have government accountability, NO you can't see your own doctor, NO you can't have an end to blackmail-for-bailouts, No you can't have anything less than European-style Socialism, and NO you can't have all the liberty you think you need.

Everything else, I believe, falls into the 'maybe' class...

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

CALLING A DUCK A DUCK

2010-04-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

I've heard Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck, among others use the term 'regime' when speaking of the Obama Administration. Whether they are using it facetiously or not, they are incorrect in this term.

We are in the Americas and since the Democrat leadership is trying to turn America into some form of Banana Republic, they really should be called the Obama Junta. It is headed by Generalisimo Barack Obama, Colonels Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, and Sub-sub Commandante Joe Biden. However, in a nod to gentility, they do not carry sidearms.

We should recognize our New World roots and call our form of dictatorship by its true name.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

ON THE SIDEWALK

2010-04-15T21:04:00.001-07:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

Like many free Americans who want to stay that way, I was at a Tea Party rally on April 15th. I’m not a card-carrying member of that group but I agree with them wholeheartedly on the bad direction this country is taking under the Obama regime. So I picked a spot on the sidewalk on Menaul Boulevard at 4 in the afternoon, brandished my sign, yelled a bit, waved a bit, and said what had to be said. For the most part, the event was very, very peaceful except for a young lady who stopped at the light and tried to share the water she had with her in her environmentally-friendly and recyclable water bottle. I was deeply dismayed for it appeared she was far more in need of a shower than any of us.

But it is the difference between conservatives and those on the Left that we tend not to make horse’s rear ends of ourselves at rallies and protests. I don’t think I’ve ever read of a single conservative riot, no angry mobs of grown-ups running down the street overturning cars, setting fire to buildings, breaking windows, pillaging, and looting. But every time I see rallies on the Left, there they are obstructing traffic, breaking things, making their presence known through obscene gestures and foul language. None of that was in evidence at this day’s Tea Party protest.

We voiced our opinions on Mr. Obama, federal spending, politicians who won’t listen to us, liberty, freedom, the Constitution, you name it, we wrote it on our signs and discussed it with one another as the time passed. A finer group of people I could never find myself around. Thoughtful, opinionated, and, most importantly, intelligent.

We came, we made our point, and if the powers that be still won’t take notice of what we have to say, they’ll hear from us again this November.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

THE ENVY TAKE-OVER OF AMERICA

2010-03-31T14:50:00.000-07:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

In September 1, 1939, Adolph Hitler sent actual tanks rolling into Poland to take it over. It was messy, involved the help of the Russians, and many Poles died in the fighting.

Now, here in America, we're seeing the same thing, the capitulation of an entire country under attack by a dictatorial force in Barack Obama and his communist party. But instead of the gunpowder and lead that would have been used if the Democrat Party really was serious about getting things done, they're using a much more civilized item: human emotion and, in this case, the most basest of all emotions, envy and jealousy to achieve their goals.

The Chosen One is justifying the take over of a sixth of the U.S. economy via Obamacare by calling the entire health care issue a quest for human rights and everyone in the way of stopping Obamacare a worthless, greedy bastard. And, man, has it worked so far!

Because once you reduce everything to a quest for human rights, anyone standing in the way of goods and services has just got to be plain avaricious. Not to mention heartless, cold, and cruel.

Thus has Mr. Obama and his buddies mounted a quite effective war against Capitalism by turning business into the devil incarnate. And the whiny goat people who currently graze upon the face of America have whole-heartedly swallowed everything they hear issuing through Obama's non-moving purple lips.

Banks, insurance companies, real estate businesses and car companies have been vilified for their flagrant greed. Many are now under the protective and watchful eye of the government. They're setting prices, rates, and we now even have a pay czar to make sure no one is paid too much by government sensibilities.
This same envy can be used to take over virtually every other industry in America:

The Clothing Industry - why do I have to $40 for a pair of jeans. Clothing is an essential human right and the greedy retailer and manufacturer (who by the way is exploiting the people overseas who work in jeans sweat shops for pennies a day) are standing between us and total nakedness. The government should make sure I have soft cotton on my tush.

The Tent Industry - damn it, housing is a basic human right. Because greedy tent manufacturers are making unconscionable profits, some people even have to -gasp!- sleep in the back of their truck camper! The government should guarantee I have a roof over my head when I'm in the forest. I'm not an animal, after all.
The Paint Industry - warm colors and freshly-painted walls are a basic human right that keeps us well and happy. The government should make sure I have paint, brushes, masking tape, rollers, and plastic tarps to make my house a fit place to live.

The Computer Industry - the Internet, software, printers, modems, scanners, and all peripherals are a basic human right that keeps us abreast of technology and day-to-day communications. The government should provide us all with a laptop of our choice and a decent backpack to carry it around with.

The list goes one and on. Let's see, what else do I need that I don't want to pay for? Well, it's a basic human right to have decent canvas footwear, UV-blocking sunglasses, pedal steel guitars, spiral-cut hams, bottled water, staplers, cherry sodas, roller skates, binoculars, plasma TVs, airline tickets, three-piece tailored suits, and mountain bikes.

In fact, everything in life should be given to me free of charge because it's my basic human right. And all those greedy companies with their unconscionable gouging profits should be forced to provide me and everyone reading this article with everything we want at a loss. And if they don’t want to, then the government should take those companies over and run them the way our Founding Fathers would have wanted them run.

It's the new American way.

Right? Right!

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

THE BEST TEAM IN AMERICA? BAH! BRING US THE WORST!

2010-03-16T18:22:00.000-07:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

Now that the regular basketball season has come to an end, you see the happy faces of players and coaches going to the NCAA tournament. Their effort has paid off and on they go to the Big Dance, the Sweet Sixteen, the Final Four, the…you get the picture.

You also hear the moaning and groaning of fans whose favorite team didn't make it to the tournament. There are angry, recriminating accusations against coaches, players, athletic directors, school docents, ball boys, cheerleaders, and college presidents. The endless stream of tearful invective fills sports pages, TV programs, and radio call-in shows. The fan takes it personally. It is not that the team lost, but that the fan, himself, lost.

What we need to stop this yearly moping ritual is a tournament for the losers in basketball, a play-off system which recognizes, even glorifies, the hopelessness of the last-place finish.

This new sports concept would be called the Lasties Tournament, an event the cellar dweller would be proud to compete in, designed, especially, to get embattled coaches off the hot seat and into the Victory Circle. Best of all, you would have to lose the tournament to be the winner.

In other words, the Lasties Tournament will be an enthusiastic, orgiastic celebration of mediocrity for, let's face it, few of us will ever date the homecoming queen, pick up an Oscar, or be the company president. And for those who adore conclusions, we'll be able, once and for all, (until next year, of course) to determine which team has the poorest shooting, the most pathetic rebounding, the softest offense, and the worst defense. The sour crème de la sour crème. The qualities the average man wants to know.

You're probably thinking, why wouldn't a team just miss shots, turn over the ball, and go to sleep under the net? In other words, throw the tournament. Easy. Electric shock collars. All players would receive a good-sized shock everytime someone on their team flubbed a lay-up, missed a rebound, or didn't get the ball off in time. It would be hustle enforced by electricity --- neat, effective, and, if backed by carbon credits, green.

Even the coaching staff would be in on this treatment. They would be given a shock each time they ordered a player to foul an opposing player in the final two minutes of a game. We shouldn't be forced to watch a deliberately slowed game. We want our loser and we want him now.

So given these simple suggestions on the creation of a Lasties Tournament, a fine and interesting time awaits the public.

Let the NCAA have their March Madness. We'll have our April Anemia.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

IF THE YARDBIRDS WERE STILL TOGETHER

2010-03-10T08:08:00.000-08:00

If the 60's rock band from England had been in their prime today, they might have written and played a song like this:

Prius Kept A-Rollin’

(original lyyrics by T. Bradshaw / L. Mann / H. Kay)

I bought a Prius, I bought a car,
It was a hipster, well and a real cool car,
(It was handsome,)
It was pretty, I bought it in New York City,
Well and I trucked on down in that old Toyota,
(Goin' on,)

With a heave, and a ho,
(Wo,)
Well, I just couldn't stop that car.
(No I couldn't,)
Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,
Everybody get outta my way,
Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,
Everybody get outta my way,
With a heave, and a ho,
(No matter how I pumped the brakes,)
I just couldn't stop that car
(No I couldn't)

Well, the Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
(Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,)
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
([We're doin' eighty!])
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
(Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,)
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
([Now we're doin' ninety!])
With a heave, and a ho,
Everybody get outta my way,
Well I just couldn't stop that car,
(No, I couldn't.)

I couldn't stop at Albuquerque,
Everybody must have thought I was a real gone jerk,
I passed a train in El Paso,
Lookin' so good, Jack, but I couldn't stop that car.
(Slow down, sweet little auto, slow down,)
(Oh, right, no, go left,)
Well, the Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
The Prius kept a-rollin', all night long,
With a heave, and a ho,
Well I just couldn't stop that car.

TEN REASONS WHY YOU NEED SOCIALIZED MEDICINE

2010-02-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

Whether you call it ObamaCare, PelosiCare, ReidCare, DemocratCare, or just plain stupid, Socialized Medicine is the Holy Grail to the president and his Democrat Party. They just can't stop talking about it and are as fixated with it as a puppy with its own tail.

But the more Mr. Obama talks about his plans, the worse it gets for him. The problem is that he hasn't presented it properly. As an aid to Democrats everywhere, these are the positions they should be pushing to make this dream reality:

1) Socialized Medicine is free. I don't know how they do it, but, by golly, nobody has to pay for it. Now if they could do something about the rising cost of cigarettes, gas, sodas, and my tanning bed treatments...

2) Socialized Medicine protects medical professionals and hospitals from extraordinary lawsuits. Right now Republicans and many physicians are pointing out that to control medical costs, tort reform needs to be initiated to rein in the runaway costs of medical malpractice lawsuits. With Socialized Medicine there would be no need for this legislation. As the government would run the health care system how would anyone be able to sue Uncle Sam? Especially if he wasn't in the mood to be sued. Socialized Medicine means never having to say "Oops!".

3) Socialized Medicine covers all diseases. Time and again we see insurance companies denying care for unusual diseases or treatments. Now everything will be covered up to and including euphoria, apoplexy, and miner's squint. And you won't have to pay for those pills and medical devices you saw advertised on late-night TV.

4) Socialized Medicine means you will be able visiting many foreign countries. Recently Danny Williams, the Newfoundland/Labrador Premier, came to the United States to get immediate treatment for a heart condition rather than wait for treatment in Canada. As we will not be allowed to visit the United States many of us may sample the medical care in India, Mexico, Argentina, and Mongolia for quick treatment of deteriorating ailments. As many of you may say, ole!

5) Socialized Medicine will give you time to think it over. Haven't you ever done things on the spur of the moment which you ended up regretting when you sobered up? Things like getting a tattoo, buying a Hummer, or signing up for a lifetime subscription to "Boys' Life". Since it will take months, perhaps years, to see a doctor or schedule a treatment, you will have plenty of time to ponder whether you really want that gallbladder surgery, that liver transplant, that hernia operation, or that brain tumor removed. No longer will we see people who rued the day they had their gallstones taken out.

6) Socialized Medicine means more jobs for the unemployed. While real doctors may become disillusioned and leave the medical profession, this only opens the door for medical school dropouts, incompetent phlebotomists, clumsy surgeons, mediocre radiologists, unskilled nurses, alcoholic anesthesiologists, and backyard mechanics to fulfill their dream of a career in medicine. No medical degree, no problem!

7) Socialized Medicine offers incentives to stay healthy. Since the average patient may be called upon to visit a doctor as described in Reason No. 6, there will be a good reason to pay attention to one's shape. I'd start jogging right now if I were you.

8) Socialized Medicine will improve the gene pool. Death panels, natural selection, bad luck, call it what you will but the waits and overall incompetence associated with Socialized Medicine will mean you will die sooner, rather than later, of your genetic ailment, thus the better off mankind will be if you don't get a chance to procreate. Future Americans will never again see people afflicted with prickly heat, vertigo, or political idiocy.

9) Socialized Medicine will give the government something to do. Rather than raise hell with the public through IRS audits, unending bureaucratic regulation, or random airport strip searches, the government will find its hands full, day and night, creating paperwork, scheduling payments, and coming up with excuses for why no one answers the medical clinic phone at 2:00 in the afternoon.

10) Socialized Medicine will come in color or black and white. No. just yanking your Obama nose ring. Actually, it won't but I couldn't come up with any other reason you would want Socialized Medicine.

So to Mr. Obama and the Democrat Party, instead of using the nuclear option of reconciliation or writing up an executive order, the best way to get Americans to go along with Socialized Medicine is to tell them why they need it.

And you could also tell them it's available, for a limited time, in tan.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

BOSS HOGG

2010-02-23T10:34:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

In Barack Obama's latest health care plan is a proposal to give the Health and Human Services secretary the power to block price increases in premiums by health insurers. That power, on its face, would be subjective and political. However, it would complete the take-over of American companies by this increasingly relentless socialist administration.

Look at the facts, these days government dictates how to make a product, the government dictates what to put in a product, the government dictates shipping methodology if the U.S. Postal Service is used, the government dictates working conditions with OSHA, the government dictates minimum pay for employees and who to hire with EEOC laws, the government dictates salaries and bonuses for management in some industries, and, at the end of the day, for its efforts, the government will be on hand to collect its fair share of the company's profit through taxation if a company is fortunate enough to make a profit on its transactions.

Now the government wants to dictate to companies what they will charge for their products.

What decision making is left for a company under this administration? Helping pick the color of tablecloths in the company mess hall?

This proposal will be the final nail in the de facto take-over of American business. And it neatly avoids the messiness and expense of actually having to buy or run companies ala General Motors or AIG. Free companies! What socialist politician wouldn't be giddy with excitement over the prospect?

You just gotta admire that crazy Capitalist Socialism.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

THE FABLE OF THE LITTLE BOY WHO WANTED MORE

2010-02-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Barack Obama who got elected President of the United States. He enjoyed the job and loved playing in the Oval Office and giving speeches to whoever would come by. One day he decided to go down to Congress and meet them all.

And all the people in Congress were so happy to see him.

"Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" they asked, for they so wanted to please him.

He pointed to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and said, "More."

So the Congress immediately passed an $787 billion stimulus package and the little boy's stomach grew larger and off he went. But before long the little boy came back to Congress.

"Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" they asked, for they so wanted to please him.

Again, the little boy pointed to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and said, "More."

So the Congress immediately bought General Motors, Chrysler, AIG, and bunches and bunches of banks.

Again the little boy's stomach grew larger and off he went. But before long the little boy came back again to Congress.

"Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" they asked, for they so wanted to please him.

And again, the little boy pointed to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and said, "More."

So the Congress immediately started working on a $3.8 trillion budget plan.

Again the little boy's stomach grew larger and off he went.

Well, every chance he got, little Barack Obama would go down to Congress. And every single time he would go down, the people in Congress would stand right next to him and they would say, "Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" for they so wanted to please him. And every time that happened, little Barack Obama would point to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and say, "More." And every time he would do that, the people in Congress would pass another spending bill until one day you could see, even from faraway, that Barack Obama's stomach was as big as a house.

And then you know what happened?

Why, he went back down to Congress. And all the people in Congress stood next to him and they all said in chorus, "Tell us little boy, what is it you want?" for they so wanted to please him. And again, little Barack Obama pointed to his tummy on which he had painted the word 'government' and said, "More." So the Congress immediately passed a bill authorizing the U.S. Treasury to borrow an additional $1.9 trillion.

But this time, before little Barack Obama could leave, his tummy started making a rumbling sound and that rumbling sound grew louder and louder and LOUDER! Until, until, until he exploded!

BOOM and there was government all over the place: on the walls of Congress, on the ceilings of Congress, on the desks of Congress, on the fine statues of Congress. Everywhere, as far as the eye could see was government, government, government.

And you know what little Barack Obama did?

He blamed the whole mess on his playschool rival George W. Bush and then off he went to play.

Moral: Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

I EAT, THEREFORE I'M TAXED

2010-02-18T09:52:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

With implications for the entire country, in the state of New Mexico, our 2010 legislature is coming to an end and once again we are being called upon to bare our necks and feed the Vampire Hog of Government. And in the action-speaks-louder-than-words category, the Democrat Party, which has run this state for the past 70 years, has managed, in spite of a half billion dollar deficit, not to close unneeded departments, stop unnecessary spending, derail our money-sucking Rail Runner choo-choo, or even remove anyone from our bloated state payroll not even, as a local TV news investigator discovered, employees running non-existent museums or just showing up to pick up nice fat government checks.

For you see, rather than cutting spending, our legislature is going to increase taxes. One of the proposed taxes that was within inches of becoming law here in hispanic New Mexico, was a tax on hispanic foods like white flour tortillas, hard taco shells, salsa, and red chili pods. This would have been like putting a snow tax on Eskimos or a hurricane tax on Floridians. Of course if they'd held their ground they would have gotten away with it because they know that all we ever do in New Mexico is grumble for a couple of weeks and then return to our brainless, happy-go-lucky selves.

But if Barack Obama is as smart as everyone claims he is, he will sit up and pay attention to what our politicians almost did here which he can use to solve his own trillion dollar deficits. If Democrats could try to tax ethnic food in New Mexico, imagine what they could do nationwide. Plus, if successful, the dietary dragon lady Michelle Obama would no longer be able to castigate us over our heft.

But where would he start taxing? Well, why not with the President's own racial group - blacks. And for this, we can thank Questlove, Jimmy Fallon's 'Late Night' show bandleader, who posted a picture on Twitter of the NBC Universal commissary menu which was created in honor of Black History Month: fried chicken, collard greens, black-eyed peas, and cornbread. A six percent surtax right off the plate.

Who's next? Wow, America has a diverse population and the ethnic buffet is mouth-watering to a Democrat politician in need of spending money. Those of Germanic background would have their sauerkraut and bratwurst taxed. Louisiana Cajuns would see the cost of blackened catfish and gumbo rising, and the Irish might notice a mild price increase on green beer and corned beef-and-cabbage though the latter would be reduced slightly to take into account electric wind generation. (Oh, and a new St. Patrick's motto: Tax me, I'm Irish!)

Greeks would be expected to plunk down more for gyros and souvlaki, Native Americans on frybread and mutton stew, and French-Americans would pay more for, uh, whatever it is they eat. And I don't think there's a Swedish-American amongst us who wouldn't cringe at forking over more hard-earned dollars for gravlax.

The Jewish people in America have long supported the Democrat Party and surely wouldn't complain when their gefilte fish and matzo balls come with an extra charge. The same for Latinos where you wouldn't hear a peep out of them over costlier tamales, chimichangas, and refried beans.

Italians also would be asked to participate in national budget balancing with revenue enhancements on pizza and linguine. (As the late Chico Marx might have said, "Thatsa spicy tax!"). The Poles living in Chicago could feel a dollar or two pinch on their kielbasa at football games and while this might rob them of their appetites, their attention would soon wander off to the on-field exploits of Da Bears. The Japanese would see their cash swimming away on higher priced sushi, Indians would look wistfully at Tandoori priced just out of their wallet's reach, and will we ever see a Chinese fortune cookie on our plate again?

Nevertheless, tough times call for tough action and if we follow the progressive thinking of the New Mexico state legislature and their delicious food tax, our country stands a good chance at economic recovery.
So Mr. Obama, dust off that deli counter cash register. Maybe, just maybe, we Americans will be able to eat our way back to prosperity.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

THE POLITICAL MESSIAH

2010-02-11T09:40:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

Sometimes I wonder why Barack Obama is marching the United States down the path of destruction with his trillion dollar budgets and insane laws like cap-and-trade that would rob us of our money and our freedom.
As we go deeper and deeper into a financial hole that will take generations to get out of, you've got be asking yourself Why? What is the reasoning behind profligate spending and laws so obviously bad even a blind man could see their end results.

What is the endgame of this governmental madness we find ourselves in? What is Obama trying to do? Who's on the other end of his Blackberry and what are they telling him? Are the controlling powers that be trying to remake America into some kind of socialist paradise? Or are they trying to make sure America is never again a threat to the world as they want to see it?

There may be a theological explanation to what's happening. Perhaps God is fed up with the repudiation of His existence and authority by the Democrat Party most noticeably in their use of the phony "separation of church and state" concept (as though one could shut off his morality the minute he stepped through the front door of the Capitol building). Maybe He has had enough of the Democrat glorification of abortion, the acceptance of using baby bodies for stem cell experiments, the pushing of gay marriage at every turn, and their using Welfare to sap the industry and will of people who should be looking after themselves and their families without government handouts and has hit upon a quiet plan to rid us of this cancerous political party which appears to have been co-opted by Communists, Socialists, and every nut case on earth who envies and despises our freedom.

You might think, in observing his actions, that Barack Obama is at his core a very bad man. But it could be that he is merely an instrument, a divine device, a useful idiot for our Lord who is showing us Representatives and Senators who won't listen to their constituents even at Town Hall meetings they've called themselves, who conduct business behind closed doors and late Saturday nights when they hope no one is paying attention, and who lather themselves in political hubris by taking an I-know-better-than-you attitude on national legislation and spending.

Yet you've got to wonder how a virtually unknown man with no experience in business or government, shows up in Congress for a few months, topples a bevy of Democrat heavyweights in primary after primary, and is elected President of the United States. Rather than curse or bemoan his actions, maybe he's been sent from on high to open the eyes of the American people to the evil that is the current Democrat Party.

Maybe God's a Republican after all.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

SNOW-TRINA AND THE AMERICAN MEDIA

2010-02-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

Interesting that our news media reporters, years after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, are still bringing up then-President George W. Bush and how he supposedly didn't help the people there. After all, he didn't go down and personally warn them of a coming hurricane or, once the rains began to fall, pick up their belongings and cart them off to safety. I don't know what Mr. Bush was supposed to have done, I guess helicopter down, raise his arms, and stop the winds.

Now SnowTrina is walloping Washington, D.C. and the east coast and the same news media is covering the event as if we have no president at all. No finger pointing at Barack Hussein Obama at all as the snow brings the government to a standstill. No angry wagging fingers by TV talking heads complaining that Mr. Obama has no heart, no concern for the welfare of the people. Why, now the people in the media are acting as though this might be an act of nature. Now that a leftist administration is in power, the media is thoroughly mystified at what home owners are complaining about as they shovel the snow from their own drive-ways without government help.

Imagine that, weather might well be above man, politics, and the media.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

THE SINS OF OUR POLITICAL FATHERS

2010-02-09T11:50:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

New Mexico, like most states run by Democrats these days, is greedy, corrupt, and broke.

Our legislature meets yearly in January and, seeking to allay a current state budget deficit of over a half billion dollars in one of the poorer states of the union, rather than cut back spending to a useful degree or trim workers from our bloated government. Taxes, taxes, taxes are the only words of the day in Santa Fe.

One idea from a local politician is, of course, the old standby of raising cigarette taxes, and in this case, a dollar a pack. Picking the pocket of the one group that's pariah and friendless is the usual move when governmental money problems come along as is the motive, in this case, the faux concern for smokers' well-being to justify this money grab.

There's something about our politicians constantly bringing up 'sin' taxes to pay for their idea of government that just has to stick in your craw. They seem to know so much about our sins yet they blindly ignore their own.

For instance:

*** The sin of overspending - like a spoiled child in a candy store, our representatives in Washington want everything they see and, thus, have spent us into a 12 trillion dollar national debt. Plus, Mr. Obama has come out with a 2010 budget which features a $1.56 trillion dollar deficit. I'd like to spend at this rate but if I did, the guy from the big screen TV store would come down and break my legs.

*** The sin of junketeering - Nancy Pelosi has spent over a million dollars a year the past two years forcing our Air Force to fly her entourage all over the planet. We taxpayers are also picking up her hundred thousand dollar bar tab as she flies the friendly skies.

*** The sin of not looking after the store - while our Congress deliberated for over a year on a socialized medical plan, the Russians recently announced they now have a stealth jet of their own. In this, you're looking at a coming problem for the very security of our country. Maybe these jets can be shot down with insurance forms.

*** The sin of political scandals - In August 2005 the FBI seized $90,000 in cash from the home freezer of William J. Jefferson (D-LA) for which he was convicted of 11 counts of bribery and sentenced to 13 years in prison. Back in 1974, Rep. Wilbur Mills (D-ARK), the chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee, was forced to resign after his carousing with swimming stripper Fanne Foxe got out of hand and into the press. On November 28, 2005, Duke Cunningham (R-CA) pleaded guilty to accepting at least 2.4 million dollars in bribes and fudging on his income taxes. You'd think all these grown-ups we send to Washington could keep their noses clean. You'd think.

*** The sin of throwing away taxpayer money on boondoggles - we're spending billions of dollars on light rail systems across the country which, after being built, continue to lose billions of dollars a year in running them. Look at my home state of New Mexico where our legislature is struggling with a half billion dollar deficit, virtually the entire amount that's been spent building and subsidizing our Rail Runner system to date, plus we're also building a spaceport. The only thing our New Mexico government hasn't got around to building is a time machine transit system. (Oh, God, why did I open my big mouth!)

*** The sin of running for one office while still in another - Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Bill Richardson, Dennis Kucinich, Evan Bayh, Christopher Dodd, Joe Biden all kept their day jobs while moonlighting as presidential candidates. Obama and Biden eventually did have to resign after being elected to the presidency but, look, if you don't like your current job and want a new one, do the honorable thing: quit and get out of our pocket. The only politician I can remember who ever resigned from his job to run for president was Bob Dole, a man you've got to respect just for that.

*** The sin of elitism - knowing what's best for us in the face of massive opposition such as our Democrat-majority congress trying to shove a socialized medical system down our throat that we plain don't want. Or forcing environmental rules on us to the point we can't drill for oil and gas, mine for useful metals, cut trees down for lumber or heating, drive our cars without air bags full of environmental guilt, or heat our homes with anything less than a bank of candles.

And finally, to the list, the most egregious political sin of all:

*** The sin of calling things a sin. How can politicians who demand separation of church and state turn around and use a religious concept such as 'sin' to justify their tax plans? I suppose once you learn to swim in the cesspool of hypocrisy that's modern Washington, D.C. your moral conscience never bothers you again.
It's high time we the people take our duties as citizens more seriously and start examining the 'sins' of our politicians. And the best tax we can place on them is a good boot out the door.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

NO, OBAMA REALLY MEANT CORPSE-MAN

2010-02-08T12:35:00.000-08:00

While reading a telepromptered speech at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, D.C. on Thursday, February 5, 2010, President Obama twice pronounced the word 'Corpsman' as 'Corpse-man'. This set off a minor brouhaha amongst bloggers and radio talk show hosts.

Now, while many people may snicker and say he mispronounced the word, ala former President George W. Bush, I believe he said the word the way he intended. If you're in the military, you really are a walking corpse under this Commander-in-Chief. With Barack Obama around, being in the Armed Forces can be a one-way ticket to the cemetery and the term 'soldier' should be replaced with the word 'target'.

For example, the Associated Press reports military deaths in Afghanistan doubled from 151 in 2008 to 304 in 2009, the first year of Obama's presidency. Last summer, General Stanley McChrystal asked for an increase in troops there. While our men and women were fighting and dying in Afghanistan, Obama golfed, gave speeches, preened before the TV cameras, and horsed around for over three months before deciding to add troops, not as many as the general asked for but at least an increase.

And now to make matters worse, the Pentagon is more occupied with putting gay soldiers on the marching field and reading Miranda rights to fighters bristling with explosives in their underpants than fighting the enemies of our country. Even in trying to accommodate modern political correctness 13 people were killed and 30 wounded last year in Texas at Fort Hood by a muslim U.S. Army major who was openly exhibiting strange behavior as he followed his radical Islamic beliefs. In all this, Obama can hardly bring himself to say the word 'terrorist' and has meekly called upon our civilian justice system to handle our Guantanamo Bay detainees. So much for having a military feared across the planet.

The ultimate irony is that Mr. Obama was speaking at a prayer breakfast when he mispoke. Unfortunately, our soldiers don't have a prayer of a chance under his schizophrenic and incompetent leadership.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

HOW TO TELL WHEN BARACK OBAMA IS LYING

2010-01-28T16:01:00.000-08:00

His Teleprompter is plugged in.

from "Full Frontal Stupidity" - http://fullfrontalstupidity.blogspot.com/

LOSING NATIONAL WEIGHT

2010-01-27T10:27:00.000-08:00

Barack Hussein Obama is proposing to reduce national spending by $25 billion in his trillion dollar annual budget. That’s like setting aside one potato chip as you devour a family-sized bag and expecting to lose weight.

A NAME FOR THIS MESS

2010-01-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

The Great Depression had a name - The Great Depression! I think our current economic situation also should have a name. Therefore, I dub what's happening these days: The Hopey-Changey Recession. We voted for it and, doggone it, we ought to get something for our money.

A PLAN FOR WORLD PEACE

2010-01-20T17:02:00.000-08:00

Lately I have seen a most worrisome trend going on. And, no, I don't mean things like the belligerence being displayed by China, Iran, North Korea, or Venezuela.

I mean, this push to curb obesity in this country. Every time you pick up the paper or turn on the TV, there's somebody chiding you that we're too fat. That we're eating too much. That we're not getting enough exercise. That food's got too much fat. That we're guzzling too many empty calories from soft drinks. On and on and on.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I've come to believe that obesity is a positive thing.
After all, how many wars have been started and fought by fat people? How many robberies and assaults are perpetrated by the hefty class? Who's ever seen fat people running away from the scene of a crime?

And not only Americans, I think people worldwide should be encouraged to pack on the pounds. Who's going to fight who if they're too busy grazing on Big Macs and French fries? If more people got fat, there'd be damned little time to think about nuclear aggression and armed conflict.

Anyway, it seems to me that heart disease and high blood pressure are a small price to pay for world peace. I think we ought to be promoting weight gain.

If you agree, wave a French fry in my favor.

HOW TO IMPROVE RADIO

2010-01-16T13:17:00.000-08:00

In trying to enjoy a sporting event broadcast on radio, could we for once NOT have to listen to public service announcements about alcoholic mothers, drug addict children, starving children, drop-outs, abusive spouses, gambling addictions, skin diseases, cholesterol worries, heart ailments, diabetes, erectile dysfunction, government announcements crying about people wasting water, and full-fledged lectures exhorting us to exercise more, drink less soft drinks, and eat fewer hamburgers. Couldn't we just enjoy the festive nature of sports and not the depressive nature of reality?

Call me old-fashioned but I long for the days when all that filled the airwaves between time-outs was beer commercials and car ads.

A SOLUTION TO THE PRESIDENT'S PROBLEM

2010-01-16T10:52:00.000-08:00

In watching Barack Hussein Obama, the Communist nut case who currently occupies our White House, rail to the point of apoplexy aganst the insurance and banking industries, I have a suggestion that should solve his beef with them.

Mr. Obama, if you have an insurance policy, cancel it; and you should rush right down to your bank this very instant and take everything you have out of there, put all your millions into a large bag, take it back home, and hide it under the mattress.

The rest of us can continue to take our chances with insurance and banks and you, Mr. Obama, can once again sleep peacefully, content in the knowledge that you've gotten back at the filthy rotten greedy scoundrels who run these institutions.

CONSTITUTIONAL TOILET PAPER

2010-01-09T07:19:00.001-08:00

WHAT'S SO PROGRESSIVE ABOUT PROGRESSIVES?

2010-01-08T20:25:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

After reading in my local paper yet another glowing article about the 'Progressive' Movement, I have to ask, what's so progressive about it? What do they even stand for?

Freedom? Turning our medical system over to government bureaucracies will lead to more freedom? Letting the EPA control CO2 will lead to more freedom? Our Obama nose rings should come with perfume sprayers so we aren’t overwhelmed by the stench of tyranny.

Lower Taxation? In order to pay for socialized DemocratCare, we're going to see tax increases for four years before we see any benefits, meanwhile our Congress can pretend to balance the budget with this money and allow themselves some more middle-of-the-night spending sprees. The coming cap-and-trade legislation will be another tax increase on rich and poor disguised as an environmental palliative. And printing money to pay for trillion dollar deficit spending only devalues the money, robbing all of us, and thus acts as yet another tacit tax increase.

American Sovereignty? Standing behind the scam tree of climate change/global warming/bad CO2, Progressives would turn America's environmental laws over to United Nation's control so that not only would the first step toward world government be taken, we could be forced to pay global reparations for our past success. There's nothing like watching our constitution turned into recycled toilet paper.

National Security? Amidst the Obama spending spree, the only budget cut I saw was at the expense of our military. You remember them? The ones who defend us, die for us, and fill up Arlington Cemetery for their efforts. After feigning outrage at troop deaths under President George W. Bush, these Progressive sheep in wolves clothing said nothing while Americans shed their blood in Afghanistan waiting for Barack Obama to make a decision on General Stanley McChrystal's request for more soldiers. With friends like these, who needs Al-Qaida?

Technological Prowess? The whole purpose of life under Progressives is the acquisition of health care and the preservation, at any cost, of the environment, thus, technology would not be needed for anything else. Plus, we're now seeing the government dictating executive pay which will further discourage anyone from starting or running a business. Making bosses pariahs and declaring profit an obscenity should combine to finish off capitalism and personal industry.

Happy Society? Political correctness frowns on everything. You' re chastised even if you compliment someone. And if that doesn't work, thanks to Progressive hate speak legislation, prepare to be sued for your humorous remarks, looks, or snorts. Irony may make a comeback.

After 200 years of being in business, government should be getting OUT of our lives not creeping back. Instead, Progressives want us to further worship it. We're headed toward a nation of men without manhood and women without brains who will be more than glad to wait patiently for a permission slip to head down to the bathroom of life.

Progressives? Bah! Unprogressives is what they are and what they should be called.
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graphic © Clyde James Aragon & licensors. All rights reserved

THE OBAMA BAT HOUSE

2010-01-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

As New Mexico Senator Jeff Bingaman would say, we don't need to know what's going on as they complete health reform in the secrecy of the Obama bat house. It's enough that Americans will be allowed to clean up the guano.

graphic © Clyde James Aragon & licensors. All rights reserved

THE UNITED STATES OF TWO AMERICAS

2010-01-08T17:11:00.000-08:00

by © Clyde James Aragon

As the difference between Republicans and Democrats intensifies, as their arguments become shriller, as the national deficit approaches critical mass, it's obvious we've reached the point where conservatives and liberals simply can't live together. We bicker endlessly over taxation, government control, school prayer, and the Second Amendment. We don't even speak the same language these days. For instance:

Liberal: The land belongs to the people, man. It's social justice that allows us to walk freely upon the earth.
Conservative: Get off my lawn, damnit!

However, rather than partition America and try to divide its property evenly, there is one way we could still coexist. That is, create separate national corporate entities and activities apart from each other which would meet the wants and needs of each group. We would have separate sales buildings and work and play areas all well-lit and properly demarcated so that no one would accidentally enter and be offended by what he or she saw. Here's what we would find in a new America:

Liberal Motors: products: Toyota Prius, Honda Civic, Chevy Aveo, Mini Cooper, skateboards, roller skates, pogo sticks
Conservative Motors: products: Cadillac Escalade, Chevy Tahoe, Ford Explorer, Sherman tank, air craft carrier

McObama's: products: horchata, tofu, soybean curd, hummus (remember, hummus IS people)
McDonald's: products: Pepsi, fries, Big Macs, bigger Macs, heart attack Macs

Liberal Heating Corporation: products: solar energy, wind power, bicycle generators, wool blankets
Conservative Heating Corporation: products: gas, oil, nuclear energy, coal, ski jackets

Liberal News Media: products: Air America, New York Times, AnyBS TV news
Conservative News Media: products: Rush Limbaugh EIB network, Wall Street Journal, Fox TV

Liberal Law Enforcement: products: Eric Holder, PeeWee Herman, ACLU
Conservative Law Enforcement: products: Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Dick Tracy, Judge Judy

Liberal Shoe Store: products: Birkenstock, Rockport, Timberland, Ugg, Nike, Reebok
Conservative Shoe Store: products: whatever's on sale

Liberal National Security: products: Peace Corps
Conservative National Security: products: Navy Seals, Army Rangers, Marine Corps

Liberal Health Care Provider: products: witch doctors, over-the-counter medicine, obituaries
Conservative Health Care Provider: products: Mayo Clinic, prescription medicines, tanning salons

Liberal Sports Activities: products: squash, croquet, soccer, planting trees, crocheting, running away from fights
Conservative Sports Activities: products: baseball, football, boxing, hunting, fishing, beating up liberals

As you can see, the nation could be preserved well past the next election if we all decided to agree to disagree and hang out in places where we could rub elbows with the people we honestly respect. So let's give unity a chance before it's too late.

Oh, and stay off my lawn.
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graphic © Clyde James Aragon & licensors. All rights reserved